Welcome to Glass Slipper! Never give that job back, Michael Penix; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Here are my 10 biggest takeaways through eight weeks of the NBA season.

1. Lessons in losing.

Remember in April of 2023, when Mark Cuban stunned everyone? Dallas had an opportunity to sneak into the play-in with two contests remaining in the regular season, but realized that the roster wasn’t good enough to make a deep run. The Mavs decided to pull a last-minute tank, and it ultimately netted them Dereck Lively. A year later, the young center was posting double-doubles in the Finals.

That brings us to the 8-16 Sixers. There’s a brutal 15-game stretch approaching, during which they’ll face an opponent that made the playoffs last season 13 times. If Philadelphia gets outclassed, I could absolutely see Daryl Morey following Cuban’s blueprint. Thinking about the big picture can be torture for sports fans, but it’s necessary sometimes. We’ll see what happens.

2. Announce it already.

It’s funny to hear broadcasters still raving about the Golden State’s depth. They clearly don’t understand. Steve Kerr is just showcasing all of his pieces to drive up their trade value. It feels like the Warriors’ search for another star has been centered around Jimmy Butler ever since the Lauri Markkanen talks fell through, and we recently learned that the interest is mutual.

Let’s get this thing done, so we can stop searching for information in a dude’s hair and shoes.

Butler and Josh Richardson to the Bay, for Andrew Wiggins, Gary Payton II, Kyle Anderson, Jonathan Kuminga, and a 2025 first-round pick. Send it into the league office.

3. Keyonte George is so bad.

I’d elaborate, but I don’t want to be mean. He’s a former five-star recruit, and he’s absolutely awful.

4. Join the club.

If he somehow sustains these freakish numbers, how far would Denver have to drop in the standings for Nikola Jokic not to win the MVP? Sixth? Eighth? He’s posting a 31-13-10 line on 56-49-80 shooting splits. It’s the most impressive offensive season in the history of the sport, bar none.

By the way, here’s the complete list of guys with four NBA MVPs.

• Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

• Michael Jordan

• Bill Russell

• Wilt Chamberlain

• LeBron James

That’s five of the nine greatest basketball players ever. Jokic is legitimately starting to inch towards that tier.

5. Atlanta is scheming.

You can feel a deal coming. The Hawks have won seven of nine, they’re loaded with intriguing supporting pieces on tradable contracts, and plenty of draft capital is sitting in the vault. It’s time to take a swing.

A center would be awesome, but there aren’t many options available. I think it ends up being a wing. Jerami Grant is my official guess.

6. What’s wrong with Keegan Murray?

41% from three as a rookie. 36% a year ago. 30% now. I got sad typing that out. Keegan earned my respect in college, when he donned that signature stoic expression and tore apart my Buckeyes in Columbus. He’s still locking down defensively and doing the little things, but whoever stole the kid’s jumper needs to give it back immediately.

7. Mr. Automatic.

Darius Garland has shot 82 free throws this season, and made 77 of them. No active NBA player has finished a season with a higher percentage from the line. I just wanted to point that out.

8. The Rookie of the Year race.

Oh, it’s pathetic. Like, it’s actually embarrassing that one of these dudes is going to walk out of here with a trophy. Stephon Castle is your current favorite to win the award, and he owns 38-27-74 splits on a .500 squad. I think there’s a real chance that this draft class produces zero All-Stars.

9. Oklahoma City’s expectations.

Championship or bust. No two ways about it. Losing in seven to Boston in the Finals would be a failure. Shai Gilgeous-Alexander - despite that horrendous performance in the NBA Cup Final - is the fifth best player in the world, at worst. The young kids around him are all pushing to secure a massive second contract; that hunger won’t last forever. Strike while the iron is hot.

10. Claps for Dame.

How can you not be happy for Damian Lillard?

He treats his teammates the right way, creates zero off-court drama, and seems like a genuinely good human. Even if he never wins a ring, I’m glad he’ll get to hang a banner in Milwaukee.

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