Welcome to Glass Slipper! First Alex Bregman cheats, and then he ruins my sweet prince Raffy Devers. A downright despicable sequence of events; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Here are my 10 biggest March Madness takeaways heading into the men’s Final Four.

1. Salute to Lauren Shehadi.

As someone who grew up watching her shine on MLB Network, it’s always awesome to see a national audience get introduced. That postgame interview with Darrion Williams after Texas Tech’s miraculous Elite Eight victory was fantastic.

There’s a 10-foot scroll of sports broadcasters who I find absolutely insufferable, but very few college basketball people - Steve Lappas notwithstanding - make the list. It’s one of the primary reasons why this tournament is so enjoyable.

Since I mentioned the Red Raiders, we should probably just talk about it…

2. A cruel ending.

Man. Every year, I fall in love with a squad unexpectedly. It’s normally a group that overachieves during the regular season because the guys genuinely love each other. Texas Tech fit the mold perfectly, and my heart sank to the floor as that ticket to San Antonio slipped through the fingertips.

Elijah Hawkins and Chance McMillian are both out of eligibility, Darrion Williams is at least going to test the draft waters, and JT Toppin is obviously gone. This kind of felt like the program’s last big chance for a while.

3. Bounce.

Coen Carr is the most explosive leaper that we’ve seen in a college uniform since… when?

Ja at Murray State? Russ at UCLA? It’s jaw-dropping when the kid takes flight; let’s see if Tom Izzo can develop him into a legitimate star before he leaves East Lansing.

4. Stop with the overreactions.

The transfer portal is ruining March Madness! We’ll never see another Cinderella! The system is a mess!

Please do some research, and then relax a little bit. The pandemic is when this NCAA free agency stuff really exploded, right? Well, here’s what we’ve witnessed since then.

2021

• Two double-digit seeds reach the Elite Eight

• No. 11 seed UCLA makes the Final Four

2022

• Only one No. 1 seed survives the Sweet Sixteen

• Three teams seeded eighth or lower reach the Elite Eight

• No. 8 seed North Carolina makes the national championship game

2023

• No. 16 seed Fairleigh Dickinson upsets Purdue

• Zero No. 1 seeds reach the Elite Eight

• Two mid-majors make the Final Four

2024

• The lower-seeded team wins 19 times

• No. 11 seed NC State makes the Final Four

In other words, the new landscape produced four consecutive wild tournaments, before a chalky one this season. The complainers should definitely simmer down.

5. Making amends.

Now feels like the right time to walk back any sort of skepticism that I expressed about Cooper Flagg’s development early in the campaign. He’s making week-to-week leaps, particularly with his playmaking; this is the most surefire professional prospect since Anthony Davis.

6. Houston is not boring.

In fact, I’d argue that the Cougars are must-see TV.

It was pretty funny to hear Wally Zczerbiak explain why he thinks Duke will utilize an onslaught of pick-and-rolls to overwhelm Houston. Come on, man. You’re being paid to talk about this sport, and you just exposed the fact that you literally don’t understand how the nation’s top defense operates. An opposing ball screen is the action that activates the Cougars’ trap-based scheme. Like, they want you to run pick-and-rolls. When the screener comes, Houston sends a hard, swarming double at the ball handler, while the remaining three defenders shift to eliminate the closest passes. It’s a gorgeous, brilliant blueprint that nerds like myself eat up.

The Blue Devils are unbelievably talented, and they could very well run away with this one. I assure you that it will not be because my precious Cougars look helpless trying to stop a pick-and-roll. Be better, Wally.

7. Braden Smith deserves an opportunity.

Anyone who tallies 15 dimes against the vaunted Houston defense that I just yapped about should get an automatic NBA contract. I don’t care that Braden is my size. I’ve never seen a collegiate point guard handle that pressure so deftly. He’ll likely stick around West Lafayette for his senior year, but some organization is going to scoop up TJ McConnell 2.0 for a cheap price in 2026.

8. The Matt Painter conundrum.

I don’t know what to do with this man. He’s been a No. 5 seed or higher 12 times in his tenure at Purdue, yet only has one Final Four appearance. No one has won the Big Ten Coach of the Year more times than him. Not Bob Knight, not Tom Izzo. Painter is far better than any realistic replacement candidate, but the Boilermakers remain stuck looking upwards at the country’s truly elite programs. I suppose there’s no choice but to run it back for a 21st season.

9. A new challenger.

If Duke breezes to a ring, are we sure it isn’t the best team in program history?

The old heads in the audience are sprinting to my Twitter DMs to ask if I’ve ever heard of Bobby Hurley, Grant Hill, and Christian Laettner. But that 1991-92 squad fell to North Carolina, lost against unranked Wake Forest, and got pushed to the limit twice during the tournament. At no point during regional play did it feel like this current crew was in any sort of danger. Even when Caleb Love was keeping things interesting, we all knew deep down that the Blue Devils had it under control.

There’s a strong chance that the top six minute-getters on Duke’s roster all get drafted in June. Jon Scheyer has built a machine in Year 3.

10. The champ is here.

I picked Kelvin Sampson’s group at the outset of the tournament, and I see no real reason to deviate now. Houston is about to ride its beautiful defense - and that Texas home-court advantage - to a long-awaited national title.

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“Ants Marching” by Dave Matthews Band. A classic.