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Every Sunday morning, I will make five bold predictions regarding the upcoming NFL games. Each time I get one incorrect, $10 is added to the money pot. At the end of the 18-week regular season, that pool of cash will be spent on gifts for random Glass Slipper subscribers. I hope you have a lot of fun rooting against me! Let’s go.

Prediction 1: Bryce Young finishes with 200+ passing yards, 2+ total TDs, and 0 INTs against the Chargers

The more you guys read my newsletters, the more you’ll understand how stubborn I can be with my opinions. I don’t blame the folks that officially gave up on Bryce after what we just watched in Week 1. That was awful, and he did not look like he belonged on an NFL field.

But I just can’t throw in the towel yet. Those instincts. That college tape. I’m still convinced that this kid can succeed in the league, and I think he’ll bounce back this afternoon with a nice performance in front of his own fan base.

Prediction 2: The Colts and Packers combine for 400+ rushing yards

Anthony Richardson was getting clowned by opposing defenders in practice because he wouldn’t throw the ball, and he tallied exactly nine completions against Houston. Malik Willis has played 235 NFL snaps, and does not have a single passing touchdown to his name. I do not think these two teams are going to be slinging it around the yard in this one.

Jonathan Taylor was the undisputed best running back in the world before the injuries started popping up in 2022. This is the year that JT reminds everyone just how special he is. Keep in mind where the man went to college, as well. Taylor will feel right at home when he’s rumbling for 150 yards on that Lambeau Field grass.

Prediction 3: The Niners beat the Vikings by 17+ points

This is the first of two consecutive predictions that should look quite familiar if you paid attention to my newsletter a week ago. I had San Francisco over the Jets by three possessions, and a Tyrod Taylor garbage-time touchdown pass spoiled everything. We’re dialing it up again, with Minnesota as the next challenger.

I truly do not understand why Vegas is disrespecting the Niners with these lines. Kyle Shanahan’s guys were only favored by 4 on Monday night, and the spread is just -4.5 today. This is the best team in football playing against one of the weaker rosters in the conference; I fully expect a breezy San Francisco victory.

Prediction 4: 115+ receiving yards for Marvin Harrison Jr. against the Rams

My Twitter DMs were flooded with laughing emojis last Sunday, from folks that I have never met in real life. Why? Well, Harrison finished with 4 receiving yards in his NFL debut after I declared that he would get to 115. It will be me that’s chuckling in eight hours, because Marv is simply too good at this sport to struggle again. LA’s secondary is subpar, and my rookie king is ready for his moment.

Prediction 5: The Chiefs beat the Bengals by 14+ points

Everybody is expecting Cincinnati to come out swinging after that absolute humiliation in Week 1. A clash against Kansas City, with Jim Nantz and Tony Romo on the call? On the surface, it feels like another thriller between these two AFC powers is approaching.

But I know this team. The Bengals love to let their season reach as precarious a spot as possible before somehow conjuring up some miraculous five-game win streak to rescue things. I think the Chiefs have their way, and cruise to a home victory. Joe Burrow and Zac Taylor are going to pretend like everything is fine in the postgame press conferences, and us Cincy fans will have no choice but to trust them.

• Week 1 Results: 0-5 (Hey, these are bold predictions.)

• Overall Season Picks Record: 0-5

• Current NFL Prize Pot: $50

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