Welcome to Glass Slipper! Jaxon Smith-Njigba plays football today; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Every Sunday morning, I will make five bold predictions regarding the upcoming NFL games. Each time I get one incorrect, $10 is added to the money pot. At the end of the 18-week regular season, that pool of cash will be spent on gifts for random Glass Slipper subscribers. I hope you have a lot of fun rooting against me! Let’s go.

Prediction 1: Someone other than Josh Allen or Tua Tagovailoa attempts a pass in the Buffalo-Miami game.

There are so many ways that this could happen. The Bills might test-drive some trickery, knowing that a failure would bring no legitimate consequences. Mike McDaniel - who has to understand that his tenure is winding down - may decide to empty the playbook. Perhaps the likeliest possibility is that this is a 34-7 ballgame with 10 minutes left, and both squads trot out the reserves.

Prediction 2: The Ravens beat the Vikings by 10+ points.

There is a sizable section of the NFL world that is all-in on JJ McCarthy. It’s bizarre. The folks in this realm genuinely believe that the 22-year-old is going to wind up as an S-tier NFL quarterback, and I’d love to understand their thought process. McCarthy got an entire season to learn from Sam Darnold, has a fantastic supporting cast, and works with an elite offensive mind. He currently owns a lower passer rating than Dillon Gabriel. We’re talking about the same guy, right?

Baltimore’s defense is coming around, just in time to teach young JJ a lesson. I’m seeing a third consecutive double-digit victory for the Ravens.

Prediction 3: Houston finishes with more turnovers than offensive touchdowns.

There’s no real explanation necessary here. The Texans only average 21 points per game, with CJ Stroud. Exchange him for Davis Mills, and we’re about to witness an absolutely hideous performance from this unit.

Houston essentially waved the white flag when it declined to make a single trade at the deadline. The front office then pulled out a classic let’s-try-to-appease-the-angry-fans strategy, and leaked its attempt to acquire Breece Hall. Come on. No one cares that you almost did something useful. Devin Lloyd and the Jags are going to have some fun this afternoon.

Prediction 4: 5+ receptions for George Kittle against the Rams.

Kittle has not reached this benchmark in 314 days. Maybe I’ve got the rose-colored glasses on, but it feels like Kyle Shanahan has intentionally been preserving his ailing tight end for a massive divisional clash.

This is - by a wide margin - the most important Niners game since Super Bowl LVIII. I fully expect George to make his mark on it.

Prediction 5: Philadelphia defeats Green Bay on Monday Night Football.

I’m not sure what to do with the Packers anymore. Jordan Love and Micah Parsons are the only two dudes on the roster that were more valuable than Tucker Kraft. Now that big No. 85 is done for the year, I must recalibrate my expectations.

Even though the Eagles aren’t yet competing with the requisite fire to win another title, their path to a fourth NFC crown in nine years looks fairly inviting. Detroit’s corners are highly unimpressive. Baker Mayfield has never won consecutive playoff contests. I think the Rams’ offensive line is suspect. If Philly can get this rushing attack humming consistently by January, all of its potential opponents are in serious danger once again.

Matt LaFleur boasts a sparkling 41-13 record at Lambeau Field. He’ll lose there for the second time in eight days tomorrow evening; I’ve got the Eagles grabbing a big road victory.

• Week 9 Results: 1-4

• Overall Season Picks Record: 19-26

• Current NFL Prize Pot: $260

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