Welcome to Glass Slipper! Unfortunately, Jake Browning plays football today; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Every Sunday morning, I will make five bold predictions regarding the upcoming NFL games. Each time I get one incorrect, $10 is added to the money pot. At the end of the 18-week regular season, that pool of cash will be spent on gifts for random Glass Slipper subscribers. I hope you have a lot of fun rooting against me! Let’s go.

Prediction 1: New England defeats Pittsburgh.

In reflecting on this matchup through the years, I came to a stark realization. Though it feels like the two teams play on an annual basis, I cannot remember a single instance where the Steelers prevailed. All I picture is Tom Brady in victory formation, while Mike Tomlin glumly removes his headset. A Google search confirms my suspicions that - in recent times, at least - we’re dealing with an awfully lopsided sequence of results. The Patriots are 15-4 since the 1998 campaign, and own a +188 scoring margin in those wins.

Even though I believe Pittsburgh is a far superior squad here in 2025, I trust that New England’s dominance will continue anyway.

Prediction 2: 90+ yards from scrimmage for Ashton Jeanty against the Commanders.

Pete Carroll used to spend every waking moment marveling at Chris Carson during his Seattle tenure. That guy was fed 525 carries in a two-year span, which was second only to a young Ezekiel Elliott. Fast-forward to the present, and a truly rare running back prospect has fallen into Pete’s lap. This is how he gets utilized? The world was excited to watch Jeanty rumble on national television, and he received exactly one touch on the Raiders’ first three drives. That is flat-out unacceptable.

I love that Ashton advocated for himself during Wednesday’s media session. He’ll feast this afternoon, and toss an egg at the fools labeling him a bust.

Prediction 3: Justin Herbert throws at least one interception.

He just doesn’t really turn the ball over anymore; 16 of his last 19 regular-season contests have been pick-free. It’s undeniably impressive.

I would hope that the Broncos feel humiliated after getting clowned by Danny Dimes. I think Vance Joseph’s unit shows some pride, and gives our friend Justin a little bit of trouble.

Prediction 4: Caleb Williams finishes with 275+ total yards and 2+ total touchdowns.

Listen, the eye test has admittedly not been pretty. The criticism that Williams catches is reaching downright irrational levels, though. Jared Goff - a fellow No. 1 overall pick - owned a touchdown-to-interception ratio under 2 after 19 career games. Caleb currently sits at 3.3. The sky is not falling, folks.

A meeting with this turnstile of a Dallas defense feels like a golden opportunity for the Bears’ signal-caller to kick his second campaign into gear. I’m expecting a big stat line from the 23-year-old.

Prediction 5: Both Detroit and Baltimore punt three times or fewer on Monday Night Football.

Two explosive attacks, two aggressive head coaches, two secondaries that haven’t necessarily looked sharp. The possibility of a three-hour fireworks show is firmly on the table.

Deep down, we all root for shootouts in primetime. I’ll do my part to try and speak one into existence here.

• Week 2 Results: 3-2

• Overall Season Picks Record: 3-7

• Current NFL Prize Pot: $70

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