Welcome to Glass Slipper! Prove it, Noah Lyles; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Remember that line at the end of The Dark Knight, where the Joker tells Batman that the two of them are going to battle for eternity?

I’ve seen that movie around 15 times through the years, and it wasn’t until last week that I learned that Christian Bale was British. But that’s not why I brought up the moment. This particular scene is what plays in my head every time the 49ers lose in the postseason. The team has gotten to the NFC Championship Game in four of the last five years, and has zero rings to show for it. Just as Heath Ledger said, it’s starting to feel like San Francisco is going to tease its fans for the rest of time.

Kyle Shanahan seems way too good to even consider letting go. At the same time, he and Sean McDermott are the only two head coaches in the league that have been at their current jobs for more than five seasons and not won a Super Bowl. We’re already hearing rumblings that Buffalo might be eyeing a coaching change soon. Could there also be a vacancy in the Bay Area if Shanahan falls short again this year? Maybe Bill Belichick does indeed return in 2025, and gets to decide between taking over the Bills or the Niners.

Championship windows are almost always shorter than we think. Trent Williams is 36, Kyle Juszczyk is 33, and George Kittle is 30. History tells us that Christian McCaffrey doesn’t have many effective years left, either. San Francisco’s front office is already positioning the franchise for a retool at the wide receiver spot; John Lynch has played hardball with both Deebo Samuel and Brandon Aiyuk, and just drafted Ricky Pearsall in anticipation of losing one of his two stars. Also, what happens when Brock Purdy gets paid? Solid pieces on the roster will be replaced with cheaper options, weakening the supporting cast. It’s only a matter of time.

Dragging Jimmy Garoppolo - who is significantly worse than me at football - to the biggest stage in sports feels like a feat so astounding that it should exempt a head coach from ever being fired. I just wonder how long Shanahan’s leash truly is. Older Niners fans witnessed their team win five Super Bowls in 13 years back in the day; the expectations are different there than they are in Detroit. I personally could never, ever possess the guts to get rid of Shanahan. But NFL teams move quickly, and close is not good enough for San Francisco.

This is the best roster in the NFL on paper, and the 2024 NFC will again be among the weakest conferences we’ve ever seen. It’s time for the Niners to get the job done.

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“All Night Long” by Lionel Richie. Enjoy.