Welcome to Glass Slipper! I will never allow Kyle Whittingham to be forgotten; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

**NOTICE: Glass Slipper will arrive on Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday this week.

Every Sunday morning, I will make five bold predictions regarding the upcoming NFL games. Each time I get one incorrect, $10 is added to the money pot. At the end of the 18-week regular season, that pool of cash will be spent on gifts for random Glass Slipper subscribers. I hope you have a lot of fun rooting against me! Let’s go.

Prediction 1: Baltimore defeats Cincinnati by 6+ points.

A dynasty is potentially withering away in Missouri, yet it’s the Ravens that are disappointing me the most. This franchise has completed 24 seasons of football in my lifetime. At or above .500 in 19(!!) of those. I just don’t really know what it feels like to see Baltimore struggle.

Lamar Jackson has submitted four consecutive subpar performances, one of which was a pretty weird outing against my previous Bengals on Thanksgiving. There’s no chance that a defense this inept can bottle him up again. The two-time MVP enjoys a dominant afternoon, and puts the heat on Pittsburgh to hold serve.

Prediction 2: Jayden Daniels and Jaxson Dart combine for 500+ total yards and 5+ total touchdowns.

As an NFL fan, there are few developments more exciting than when two division rivals each find a tantalizing young quarterback. We get to watch Jayden and Jaxson trade punches twice a year for the next decade, and that’s a reason to celebrate.

It’s a lost campaign for both Washington and New York; let’s give the people a show anyway. We’re headed for a fun shootout in MetLife.

Prediction 3: Someone other than Jared Goff or Matthew Stafford attempts a pass in the Lions-Rams game.

This is going to be extremely high-quality football. In my opinion, Detroit - from a stylistic standpoint - is a nightmarish matchup for Los Angeles in a hypothetical playoff meeting. The Lions currently sit outside of the postseason picture, and I would assume that Sean McVay feels a sense of urgency to keep them there. You do not want Penei Sewell and Jahmyr Gibbs marching into SoFi in January.

I expect both coaches to reach deep into the playbook today. Fake punts, Wildcat throws, double-reverse bombs. The fate of the NFC might hinge on the outcome, so you might as well fling the kitchen sink.

Prediction 4: Philip Rivers records a passer rating below 80.0 against the Seahawks.

Come on, Chris Ballard. I understand that your promising campaign is in danger. Why on Earth are we doing this, though? Rivers failed to win a playoff game with Indianapolis back in 2020. Now he’s supposed to lead a magical run after taking almost a half-decade off? I don’t care that he knows the scheme. I don’t care that he has familiarity with the personnel. I don’t care that he’s feeling confident. Rivers is an out-of-shape grandfather, hitting the road to face an elite front seven. How exactly do you envision this contest unfolding?

Colts fans will be begging for Riley Leonard by halftime. Let’s see how fast Seattle can get the reserves in.

Prediction 5: George Pickens finishes with 90+ receiving yards on Sunday Night Football.

Dude, you better. You just gave the entire country secondhand embarrassment with that maybe-I’ll-try-hard-another-time performance in Detroit. Then you run to the keyboard when someone takes exception to it? Pickens is in a contract year, by the way. He absolutely cost himself a few million with this whole Richard Sherman saga.

The numbers suggest that Minnesota’s pass defense is elite. My eyes beg to differ. In addition, both starting outside corners are under six feet tall; that is not a recipe for success against a giant jump-ball maestro like George. I think we’ll witness some ridiculous catches from No. 3 this evening.

• Week 14 Results: 3-2

• Overall Season Picks Record: 31-39

• Current NFL Prize Pot: $390

Pressroom

Spin It

“Water Under the Bridge” by Adele. Enjoy.