Welcome to Glass Slipper! Back in July, I made the sad admission that I had never met Jordan Chiles. That is no longer the case; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

The best 162-game MLB record ever belongs to the 2001 Mariners, who rode a magic carpet to 116 wins. Seattle was powered by Ichiro Suzuki’s iconic rookie campaign; if you want a small taste of why people were so outraged when the global icon wasn’t unanimously voted into the Hall of Fame, allow me to list his accomplishments from that first season alone.

• Led MLB in batting average

• Led MLB in hits

• Led MLB in stolen bases

• Started All-Star Game

• Won AL Rookie of the Year

• Won Silver Slugger

• Won Gold Glove

• Won AL MVP

Yep. That’ll do. Unfortunately, the Mariners got popped in the ALCS by New York. That astounding 116-46 mark is their entire legacy. Well, I’m afraid I have some bad news for the dudes on the roster. They have about 220 more days to enjoy their special piece of history. The Los Angeles Dodgers are about to ruthlessly snatch it away.

Look, I get it. I’m not eliciting any gasps by telling you that the defending champions are going to be really good. I just want people - non-baseball fans in particular - to understand the full gravity of what is about to unfold. Allow me to provide a three-part explanation of why I believe the Dodgers have a chance to be the most dominant professional sports team since the dawn of humanity.

1. Roki-Mania is real.

A quick story for you. I recently met a huge baseball lover named Cam, who has extended family back in Japan. He’s watched Roki Sasaki play in person on several occasions, and says the kid is the best pitching prospect ever. Ever.

You want to know why I took that declaration so seriously? Cam is a Bay Area dude, born and raised. A diehard San Francisco Giants fan (he also likes the Warriors, which is pretty gross). He’s not heaping praise on LA’s prized free agent acquisition for the fun of it. The best pitching prospect… ever? That means he’s above Stephen Strasburg, whose MLB debut put the world on halt 16 years ago. It means he’s ahead of Paul Skenes, who embarrassed the college ranks and then forced Pittsburgh to call him up after just 27.1 filthy innings in Triple-A.

The most terrifying part is that Sasaki might operate as the No. 5(!!) guy in the rotation. Shohei Ohtani is throwing again. Blake Snell has two Cy Young awards sitting on the mantel. Tyler Glasnow was a 2024 All-Star. The Dodgers went 4-0 in Yoshinobu Yamamoto’s four playoff starts. Clayton Kershaw as the fill-in sixth man? I’ve certainly never seen a better group on paper.

2. The purveyor of positive vibes has returned.

Anyone who even remotely followed Los Angeles last season knows that Teoscar Hernandez was the glue. If he had signed elsewhere, I would not feel nearly as confident in this being one of those rare superteams with elite chemistry. But Teo is back, and so is the great energy in the clubhouse. That oh-so-cute friendship with Ohtani lives on.

Hernandez’s bat is still live, too. As the primary cleanup man, he finished second on the squad in home runs and posted a sizzling .931 OPS in the World Series. The city absolutely adores him, and for good reason.

3. The contract-year crew.

It’s no secret that athletes are more motivated when their deal is about to expire. I love the look of the Dodgers’ payroll; the correct dudes are going to have that extra cash-driven juice throughout the campaign. The irritatingly-inconsistent Max Muncy has a team option. So does Chris Taylor, who is coming off an embarrassing season. Michael Conforto got brought in on a classic, one-year prove-it contract. Enrique Hernandez hits free agency again in nine months. Pretty much every reliever of any importance is either headed to arbitration or the open market. Reaching 117 victories requires relentless day-to-day focus and effort, and this crew of guys will have no choice but to bring it.

LA is speeding directly towards another ring. When our future grandchildren are yapping about the dynastic franchise in their era, it’ll be on us to educate them about the 2020s Dodgers.

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“Love On Top” by Beyonce. Savor the rest of this long weekend.