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Five bold predictions for Week 4 of the NFL season.
Welcome to Glass Slipper! They’ll be replaying that game for the rest of time; please enjoy the show.
- Jacob Rhee
Every Sunday morning, I will make five bold predictions regarding the upcoming NFL games. Each time I get one incorrect, $10 is added to the money pot. At the end of the 18-week regular season, that pool of cash will be spent on gifts for random Glass Slipper subscribers. I hope you have a lot of fun rooting against me! Let’s go.
Prediction 1: The Bengals defeat the Panthers by 10+ points.
Hey, I’m not cutting corners here; this absolutely qualifies as a bold pick. The Bengals are one of three winless teams in the league, they’re on a short week, and the defense literally didn’t try on Monday Night Football at home. I’m now predicting that these guys will go on the road and win by double digits, against a Carolina squad coming off a blowout victory. That’s risky business.
Plus, it might rain in Charlotte this afternoon. Joe Burrow is simply incapable of throwing a wet football.
Prediction 2: Justin Jefferson finishes with less than 100 receiving yards and no receiving touchdowns.
Division rivals beef over the pettiest things, and I love it. Jaire Alexander infamously broke up a pass and hit the Griddy in Jefferson’s face back in 2023. This week, Justin claimed to not care about the individual matchup, while also promising to get Alexander back with a touchdown Griddy at Lambeau. How can you not love this sport?
I don’t think that revenge dance is happening, though. I’ve long been in love with Jaire’s competitive spirit, and it’ll be fully tuned up this afternoon. Jefferson should still get his share of targets and catches, but he won’t post any wild numbers.
Prediction 3: 275+ passing yards for CJ Stroud against the Jaguars.
Stroud has quietly gone nine consecutive starts - including the playoffs - without reaching this threshold. That drought will be a thing of the past in about four hours.
Quick, name Jacksonville’s starting secondary. Fine, at least just name two of the guys. One? Oh, you can’t come up with any? Don’t feel bad. I had to Google it, as well. That’s not good when a hungry Houston offense is on the other sideline.
Prediction 4: Brandon Aiyuk finishes with 75+ receiving yards and at least one receiving touchdown.
I love Aiyuk, but he’s been the worst starting NFL wide receiver that I’ve seen this year. He also just acted like a petulant child in practice because Kyle Shanahan told him he was wearing the wrong shorts. I don’t know what’s going on with the dude, but the struggling Niners need him to come through.
Brandon will look a little bit more like himself today. Christian Gonzalez - who is usually a shutdown guy - has been noticeably bad through three weeks, and that trend is going to continue.
Prediction 5: 200+ total yards and 2+ total touchdowns for Tyler Huntley.
Huntley has played 20 career games in the regular season, and he’s hit both of these benchmarks in the same contest exactly one time. He actually kind of fits this Miami offense well, though. Get the ball out fast, be creative, and have fun. I can absolutely envision him flashing that bright smile as he watches Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle take his little drags and pop passes to the house.
If you’ve watched him play, you know that our man Tyler is also a fantastic athlete. I have him breaking off some chunk runs, against a Tennessee defense that just let Malik Willis glide around the yard a week ago.
Week 3 Results: 1-4
Overall Season Picks Record: 3-12
Current NFL Prize Pot: $120
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