Welcome to Glass Slipper! Rest in peace to Rickey Henderson; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

**NOTICE: Glass Slipper will arrive on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Friday this week.

Every Sunday morning, I will make five bold predictions regarding the upcoming NFL games. Each time I get one incorrect, $10 is added to the money pot. At the end of the 18-week regular season, that pool of cash will be spent on gifts for random Glass Slipper subscribers. I hope you have a lot of fun rooting against me! Let’s go.

Prediction 1: Atlanta scores 23+ points in Michael Penix’s first NFL start.

Oh it’s happening, folks. It’s Penix time. Anyone familiar with this kid’s story is thrilled; he was a three-star recruit, suffered four consecutive season-ending injuries at Indiana, then went to Seattle and captivated the college football world.

The Falcons only reached this threshold five times with Kirk Cousins leading the huddle. Our guy Mike will get the city rocking today, and I think this infuriatingly stagnant offense starts to hum immediately.

Prediction 2: The Jets defeat the Rams.

Aaron Rodgers destroyed New York’s campaign, and he’s now on a mission to ruin the draft pick. It was pretty funny that he publicly volunteered to mentor a rookie next year; Aaron has provided consistent teaching tape of how not to handle a big media market.

LA has won seven of its last nine, yet my eye test tells me to remain suspicious. Let’s give these poor Jets fans something to cheer about.

Prediction 3: Philadelphia and Washington combine to punt nine times or more.

No team in the league punts less than the Commanders, and few contenders are as aggressive on fourth down as the Eagles. But whenever division rivals meet in cold weather, there’s less offense than we anticipate. I think we’re getting an old-fashioned NFC East rockfight, and I can’t wait.

Prediction 4: Brock Purdy finishes with 250+ total yards, 2+ total touchdowns, and zero interceptions against the Dolphins.

Come on, buddy. Please don’t put us through another offseason where the entirety of NFL discourse is centered around whether or not you’re a franchise guy. I thought those discussions were behind us. If you finish strong here, we can pin this disastrous Niners campaign on the injury bug and forget that you were a part of the problem. I’m begging you, Brock.

Prediction 5: Green Bay beats New Orleans by 20+ points on Monday Night Football.

Quick, name five healthy players on the Saints. Oh, you said Derek Carr, Alvin Kamara, Chris Olave, Taysom Hill, and Marshon Lattimore? The first four guys on your list are probably done for the year, and the fifth dude now wears a burgundy helmet when he’s locking people down. In other words, you got zero correct. A valiant effort.

There’s no need to start paying attention to New Orleans, by the way. Your time is more valuable than that. I would be blown away if this game is even remotely competitive. I fully expect a Malik Willis appearance in the fourth.

• Week 15 Results: 2-3

• Overall Season Picks Record: 23-52

• Current NFL Prize Pot: $520

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