Welcome to Glass Slipper! I really wish a certain Michigan man was in the broadcast booth today; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Every Sunday morning, I will make five bold predictions regarding the upcoming NFL games. Each time I get one incorrect, $10 is added to the money pot. At the end of the 18-week regular season, that pool of cash will be spent on gifts for random Glass Slipper subscribers. I hope you have a lot of fun rooting against me! Let’s go.

Prediction 1: Brock Purdy does not throw an interception against the Browns.

Our buddy Brock finished fourth - ahead of Josh Allen - in MVP voting two years ago, and was a play away from vanquishing Kansas City in the Super Bowl. It’s been a whole lot of inconsistency ever since. 19 picks in 19 games? I’m a Purdy fan, but that’s extremely disappointing.

He’s got a tough matchup today. A white-hot Myles Garrett is trying to hunt down the single-season sack record, and that Browns defense has recorded at least one interception in five straight contests. Not to mention, the crowd in Cleveland will be deafening for Shedeur Sanders’ first home start. I think Brock delivers a clean performance nonetheless.

Prediction 2: Houston defeats Indianapolis.

Can you imagine if the Texans stormed back from 0-3, and won the AFC South for a third straight campaign? As an objective viewer, it would be pretty funny.

I think that might actually happen. The Colts are cooling off, and five of their final six opponents own a winning record. I’m already envisioning this team retreating into the playoffs, and getting bounced in the wild-card round. Houston leaves Lucas Oil Stadium this afternoon with a big victory.

Prediction 3: 75+ yards from scrimmage for Devin Neal in his first NFL start.

As you all know, I’m one of those nerds that will flick on a putrid college football game just to see if any players catch my eye. Neal was constantly jumping off the screen during his time at Kansas. 764 yards from scrimmage as a true freshman. 1,273 as a sophomore. 1,497 as a junior. 1,520 as a senior. Even though the physical traits aren’t necessarily special, there was no reason for him to still be available in Round 6.

With Alvin Kamara sidelined, the keys belong to Devin for the time being. I anticipate a productive outing from the rookie.

Prediction 4: The Bills score 24 points or fewer against the Steelers.

This is essentially blind trust in Mike Tomlin. Pittsburgh’s defense looks old and slow, yet I have nearly two decades of evidence telling me that he’ll find a way to siphon a strong showing out of his unit here.

Both Dion Dawkins and Spencer Brown are unavailable, which means that it’s feeding time for the Steelers’ trio of edge rushers. TJ Watt enjoys his most disruptive game of the year, and prevents Josh Allen from catching fire.

Prediction 5: Jaxson Dart finishes with 60+ rushing yards on Monday Night Football.

Jaxson vowed before the season to start sliding more. Make good on that promise, man. Do it for yourself and your family, above all else.

Dart suffered a concussion on November 9th, then had to watch his team blow three straight fourth-quarter leads. He now makes his return against the league’s only 10-win team, on national television. Needless to say, I’m concerned that he’s going to throw caution to the wind and lower his shoulder all evening.

I think New England sprints out to a lead, and the Giants enter catch-up mode. Take the profits on the ground, but give yourself up at the end of those scrambles. We’re all begging you, Jaxson.

• Week 12 Results: 2-3

• Overall Season Picks Record: 26-34

• Current NFL Prize Pot: $340

Pressroom

Spin It

“Loud” by R5. It’s about time.