Welcome to Glass Slipper! Gunnar Henderson has hit exactly one home run since I told you guys that he had a chance to catch Barry Bonds. My apologies, Baltimore; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

That was fun, huh? I hope you appreciated it. We just watched the best player in the world battle the most talented team ever, with a ticket to the Olympic gold medal game hanging in the balance. LeBron and Steph were dealing, Jokic was up to his awesome time-wasting tricks, and Embiid entered that I-dare-you-to-find-an-answer zone that very few guys can reach. You’re not a basketball fan if the fourth quarter didn’t induce full-body goosebumps.

But that thing was also way too close. The Americans waited until Serbia had cocked back to deliver the knockout punch before finally flicking it on with a 30-10 flurry late. So how exactly did Team USA get pushed to the brink by a squad that starts a trio of non-NBA players? I’ve listed the three main aspects of Serbia’s brilliant game plan, and explained how our precious Avengers can better handle these tactics against France.

Serbian Strategy #1: Talk a whole lot of trash.

Those dudes started to get awfully chesty when things were going their way, and I totally understood it. Most teams need to throw the US off to have a chance. I admire the fact that Serbia had the self-awareness to get rowdy from the jump. Bogdan Bogdanovic did most of the jawing, and it served two productive purposes. For one, it absolutely electrified his team; Jokic unleashed multiple primal screams in that game. But perhaps more importantly, it got the Americans playing hero ball. Everyone wanted to be the one that reversed the momentum. Guys were making foolish gambles on defense. We even saw Bam Adebayo hoist a random corner three. As goofy as it may have looked for Bogdanovic to be taunting Carmelo Anthony, I have to give him some credit. The strategy worked.

The US Solution: A fast start.

This one’s pretty simple. Team USA has to be clicking out of the gates. If France races ahead, those home fans are going to lose their minds. The Americans need to build an early lead, and eliminate the effects of any potential trash talk.

Serbian Strategy #2: Avoid turnovers at all costs.

If Jokic is on the floor, your offense is probably going to run pretty smoothly. For that reason, this was not a particularly difficult directive for Serbia to follow. The team only committed seven turnovers, and did a good job of limiting the amount of times that LeBron and company could get out and run.

The US Solution: Always push the ball.

The Americans are more athletic than anyone else, right? They should be looking for transition opportunities literally all the time. Whether of not France makes its shot, advance the ball in a hurry. The more points you can score without having to face Victor Wembanyama in the halfcourt, the better.

Serbian Strategy #3: Get hot from deep.

I didn’t know who Ognjen Dobric, Aleksa Avramovic, or Marko Guduric were before this summer, but I would venture to guess that even their loved ones didn’t anticipate them combining to hit 9 of 14 threes yesterday. Serbia took 39 bombs in total; it’s pretty clear that letting it fly with confidence was a focal point of the game plan.

The US Solution: None necessary?

The Americans could definitely fight through screens harder and be tighter with their defensive rotations. But to be completely honest, they don’t really have to worry about an avalanche of triples anymore. This French team can’t shoot it like Serbia, and that’s the main reason I have the US winning handily. France will connect on a few, but not 15. I think the Americans are going to be just fine.

As long as the US keeps Wembanyama somewhat contained, there is no avenue for an American loss here. I see an 85-71 victory, with Team USA cementing its place as the best basketball team ever assembled. It’s time to finish the job, and bring a some gold back home.

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“Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” by Elton John and Kiki Dee. An instant classic, just like US-Serbia.