Welcome to Glass Slipper! Quinn Ewers needs a year in Eugene; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Here are my 10 biggest takeaways through 12 weeks of the NBA season.

1. The same old Zion Williamson story.

It’s so unbelievably disappointing.

David Griffin is a far more patient man than me. I would’ve already shipped Zion to Charlotte for some treasure trove of picks by now. Let some other front office deal with this stuff.

2. A hazy future.

Ben Simmons will be a free agent this summer. Where does he go? How much does he get? Are we sure the guy even wants to play the sport anymore?

I’ll guess that Ben winds up in Golden State on a one-year deal worth $5 million. Feel free to respond to this email with a prediction of your own. If you nail the contract details (length, value, team), you’ll leave me no choice but to send over a prize.

3. Detroit is good!

The last time this team was at least two games over .500 in January, I was a junior in high school. Cade Cunningham was a sophomore at Montverde. Enjoy the ride, Pistons fans. It’s one of those enviable house-money seasons.

4. Living with regret.

Tyrese Haliburton has an Olympic gold medal and Jalen Brunson does not.

As a basketball community, we should not have let that happen.

5. Miami’s new No. 1 option.

Speaking of the Olympics, Tyler Herro may very well be shoving his way right onto that 2028 roster. The comparisons to Devin Booker have always felt a touch unrealistic, but that margin is suddenly closing. In fact, you tell me who’s been better this year.

If you think that defense is the difference, I’d urge you to tune into a Suns game. Booker isn’t exactly locking guys down.

Now that Jimmy Butler has quit on the Heat, it’s Herro’s show. The kid should absolutely be named an All-Star in two weeks, and I’m fascinated to see what his ceiling ultimately looks like.

6. A Kenny Atkinson redemption arc.

Remember when Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving joined the Nets, forced the organization to fire Atkinson in favor of an entirely unprepared Steve Nash, then bolted after appearing in exactly 74 games together? We don’t talk about that enough.

Fast-forward a few seasons, and Kenny has Cleveland sitting at 34-5. Meanwhile, Durant just pushed Frank Vogel out the door after one year. He’s probably going to kick Mike Budenholzer to the curb at some point soon. Oh, you need a coach? Sorry, Kevin. This is karma for what you did in Brooklyn.

7. Provide refunds.

The Sixers legitimately just ran out this starting lineup against Oklahoma City, in front of their own home crowd.

That’s actual disrespect. Like, you’re literally smacking your fans in the face. What a mess in Philadelphia.

8. DeMar’s climb.

I don’t think many folks realize just how consistently excellent DeMar DeRozan has been through the years. He’s going to land far closer to the top of the NBA’s all-time scoring list than you think.

It’s extrapolation time. DeRozan is currently averaging over 21 per contest for Sacramento; let’s pencil him in for 20 a night from this moment on, and assume he plays exactly 70 games each season for the foreseeable future. He’d suddenly be approaching 30,000 points at the age of 38, which would already place him in the top ten ever. Add in a couple of lower-production, ring-chasing expeditions at the end, and he’s sneaking up on Michael and Kobe. It sounds crazy, but this is all completely reasonable.

Due to the lack of playoff success, DeRozan may not end up with a particularly memorable legacy. That’s just kind of how it goes for stars that were stuck in the Eastern Conference during LeBron’s prime. I do hope people appreciate this dude’s longevity, though. He’s been putting the ball in the basket for a long, long time.

9. Land of confusion.

Wait a second. Zaccharie Risacher… can’t shoot? Isn’t… isn’t that the one skill that made us begrudgingly accept his standing at the top of draft boards?

He owns 40-28-71 splits at the moment, and he’s not even being asked to create anything. Yikes.

10. My updated MVP ladder.

1) Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Thunder

2) Nikola Jokic, Nuggets

3) Jayson Tatum, Celtics

4) Giannis Antetokounmpo, Bucks

5) Karl-Anthony Towns, Knicks

6) Cade Cunningham, Pistons

7) Darius Garland, Cavaliers

8) Jalen Brunson, Knicks

9) Anthony Edwards, Timberwolves

10) Victor Wembanyama, Spurs

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“Riptide” by Vance Joy. Quintessential summer.