Welcome to Glass Slipper! All of Justin Jefferson’s personal single-game records are in danger tonight; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

It’s never too early to make some observations. Here are my 10 biggest takeaways from the first two nights of the NBA season.

1. I love angry Jayson Tatum.

In the 2022 NBA Finals, Draymond Green flat-out punked Tatum and the Celtics. I won’t sugarcoat it like the national media did. It was Draymond’s absolute finest work as a professional agitator; he spotted the mental weakness and inexperience on the other side, and pounced.

I was pretty startled to see JT shrink like that on a big stage. This was the same dude who famously punched one on LeBron James in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals as a 20-year-old rookie. Why did he suddenly look tentative?

Ever since the Warriors series, we’ve been yearning to see that consistent competitive fire within Tatum. It was there on Tuesday night. He was rising up confidently on his outside shot, zinging fantastic passes, and operating with swagger and stoicism. I loved it. That’s the guy who possesses the potential to eventually climb up near the list of top-10 players ever.

2. Weird vibes from the Timberwolves.

So, no one other than Anthony Edwards is going to try? It’s your nationally-televised season opener in Los Angeles, and… you don’t care?

We could literally hear Edwards on the broadcast, screaming at his teammates to wake up. That was such a bizarre showing from Minnesota.

3. The Jalen Duren test.

Every sport has a couple of weeder players. These are athletes who help reveal which fans are diehards, and which ones are phonies that consume the game through social media clips. Jalen Duren is a quintessential NBA weeder. Glance at the box scores, and you think he’s a franchise cornerstone. Watch him play, and you’ll realize that he politely opts out on the defensive end. He’s a freak athlete that has yet to celebrate his 21st birthday; there are no excuses for that lack of effort.

4. Cam Thomas, no thank you.

Basically everything that I just said about Jalen Duren also applies to Cam Thomas. I don’t care that he dropped 36, or that Twitter ate it up. Certified weeder.

5. A Miami disappearing act.

Did Jimmy Butler and Bam Adebayo just combine for 12 points on 2-13 shooting, and a plus/minus of -60?

I just wanted to make sure you guys saw it, too. On a related note, do these dudes know that humans pay real money to watch them play?

6. It’s a leap year.

Every Cavs fan on Earth was like Michael Scott during the fire drill while watching Evan Mobley last night. Maybe he finally gets it! Evan’s reserved nature is incredibly charming during interviews, but we’ve been begging for him activate an aggressive mindset on the court. Mobley has to prove it to us for a month or two; still, I’m cautiously optimistic that his long-awaited jump has arrived.

7. Is LaMelo Ball happy?

He was all smiles after dragging his sorry supporting cast to a victory over Houston, but you just have to wonder. It’s Year 5, and it’ll be Year 7 by the time the Hornets even sniff the play-in again. LaMelo doesn’t exactly strike me as the type that is wildly obsessed with winning, so maybe he’s content in Charlotte. I suppose we’ll find out soon enough.

8. At long last.

The rookie with the best debut thus far? Yves Missi. New Orleans has been searching for a rim protector since Anthony Davis left town, and he might be here. 12 points, 7 rebounds, 3 blocks, and some really impressive defensive instincts.

Pelicans fans have a right to be excited. Missi could very well be the piece that fully unlocks this contention window.

9. Zach Edey faces some karma.

Edey got an all-time friendly whistle during his college career, to the point where it became a meme. Of course I’m rooting for my fellow Asian king to have success in the league, but the fact that he fouled out in 15 minutes in his first NBA game does put a tiny smirk on my face. A small portion of justice is served.

10. New beginnings.

I won’t lie, the Clippers’ arena is amazing. Claps for Mr. Microsoft. The noise level will drop when the fans realize that they’re cheering on the 11th-best team in the West, but I’m labeling the Intuit Dome as a success for now. Well done, Steve.

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“Life is a Highway” by Rascal Flatts. Almost Friday.