Welcome to Glass Slipper! Dodgers 5, Jays 2; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Each Saturday morning of the college football regular season, I will be predicting the outcome of the six best games of the weekend. Every time I pick the wrong team to win, it costs me $15. At the end of the year, I will use the total pot of money to buy gifts for random Glass Slipper subscribers. That’s right; you literally benefit from my failures. Let’s go.

Game 1: Penn State vs. No. 1 Ohio State

The pick: Ohio State wins, 30-17.

I can’t imagine what Ethan Grunkemeyer is feeling at the moment. That kid was not expecting to receive meaningful action this season. He’s now about to compete against his favorite childhood team - who never offered him, by the way - right here in his hometown. That’s storybook stuff.

Though it was a rocky first start for Ethan last week, it would not surprise me at all to see him look sharp in this one. He’ll undoubtedly have hundreds of friends and family members in the crowd; that collective love is a powerful thing. I think Penn State hangs tough for three quarters, before Jeremiah Smith and Carnell Tate grab control.

Game 2: No. 9 Vanderbilt vs. No. 20 Texas

The pick: Texas wins, 31-14.

Oh, I can already hear it in the distance. The angry horde of Diego Pavia stans sprinting to my DMs to berate me for disrespecting their knight in shining armor. Welcome in, guys. Make yourselves comfortable.

This is the week that the Longhorns finally put it all together. Fatigue is a potential concern; they’ve played in consecutive overtime contests, and will be taking the field for the fifth time in 29 days. I just refuse to believe that such a talented group is going to plod its way to a middling bowl game and face some 7-5 ACC squad. A long-awaited breakthrough is coming.

Vandy has earned my respect, but not my trust. Texas rolls.

Game 3: South Carolina vs. No. 7 Ole Miss

The pick: Ole Miss wins, 24-21.

It’s pretty rare for an unranked crew to beat a top-10 team on the road. I would not be shocked whatsoever to see that happen this evening. As Alabama learned, these Gamecocks are an extremely tough out when healthy.

I have South Carolina coming up millimeters short once again. The Rebels escape on a late field goal, and inch closer to that ever-elusive berth.

Game 4: No. 18 Oklahoma vs. No. 14 Tennessee

The pick: Tennessee wins, 28-20.

In all likelihood, this is an elimination game. The loser drops to 6-3, and would need a borderline unfathomable amount of dominoes to fall in order to sneak into the field.

Josh Heupel tends to take care of business in Knoxville, and I was thoroughly unimpressed by what I saw from Oklahoma’s secondary against a fairly pedestrian Ole Miss receiving core. I’m feeling another brilliant performance from Braylon Staley, with Brent Venables facing all kinds of job-security rumors over the bye week.

Game 5: No. 23 USC vs. Nebraska

The pick: USC wins, 27-23.

I don’t have any idea, honestly. Your guess is as good as mine. Both coaches are overpaid. Both quarterbacks own misleading numbers. Nebraska has offensive line problems. The Trojans have tackling issues. Sounds like we’re all square.

There’s only one position group on either roster that I feel absolutely certain about, and it’s the USC wideouts. Makai Lemon and Ja’Kobi Lane keep their slim CFP dreams intact.

Game 6: No. 17 Cincinnati vs. No. 24 Utah

The pick: Utah wins, 21-16.

Brendan Sorsby threw a pick at the end of Cincinnati’s season opener, with the Bearcats already in range for a game-tying field goal attempt. Ever since that gut-wrenching giveaway? 25 total touchdowns, zero interceptions. No losses.

It’s a massive fork-in-the-road night for Sorsby. Play well in a win, and the national media has no choice but to push him into the first sentence of Heisman conversations. A sloppy loss not only ends his award candidacy, but tamps down the momentum on his rising draft stock.

Unfortunately for Brendan, I’m taking the Utes. Devon Dampier is available, and that defense - per usual - is among the nation’s most fundamentally sound units. The atmosphere in Rice-Eccles should be awesome; Kyle Whittingham’s group improves to 7-2.

• Week 9 Results: 2-4

• Overall Season Picks Record: 29-25

• Current CFB Prize Pot: $375

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