Welcome to Glass Slipper! Look up Lonzo Ball’s current shooting splits; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Here are my 10 biggest takeaways through 12 weeks of the NFL season.

1. Tag team.

Danielle Hunter and Will Anderson are one of the best edge duos of this generation. Seriously. Houston has played 28 contests since pairing the two, and they’ve combined for 44.5(!!) sacks. There are so many former defensive players in the media; those dudes need to do a far better job of making sure that Houston’s star pass rushers get their respect.

2. Baby steps.

I’m going to say it. I think Aaron Glenn is going to be an excellent head coach. He’s 2-9, and the in-game decision-making is still shaky. A significant portion of the fan base has already given up on him. Yet the Jets show up and fight for Glenn, every week. It’s the clearest indication that the culture is in a healthy place. These guys want him to be their leader for the long haul.

New York is currently slated to have four of the top 45 selections in the draft, and possess a trio of first-rounders in 2027. Let’s give our friend Aaron the freedom to execute his long-term vision.

3. Alter ego.

This is not an attempt to rub salt in the Vikings’ wound. I’m just genuinely curious how bad it would need to get for them to actively pursue a new QB1 in the offseason. They’ve thrown away this campaign in the name of JJ McCarthy’s supposed development, and the young signal-caller has rewarded their investment by establishing himself as the worst player in the league. Are you going to choose the stubborn route, and waste another year of Justin Jefferson’s prime in 2026?

Minnesota plays Seattle on the road, five days from now. McCarthy’s putrid numbers - if he’s available - are likely about to sink further. A former No. 1 overall pick was recently benched down in the desert. There’s no doubt in my mind that he would excel in this system, and I hope Kevin O’Connell isn’t too proud to chase him.

4. Signed, sealed, delivered.

The Chiefs logged two scoreless quarters. They did not sack Daniel Jones once, and were -2 in the turnover battle. Patrick Mahomes finished with zero total touchdowns. Kansas City beats an 8-3 squad anyway. Of course. This team will head to the playoffs at 11-6.

5. A Jaxon Smith-Njigba update.

He’s actually going to do it, folks. We’re really watching the first 2,000-yard receiving season.

Six opportunities to get to 687. Let’s do it, buddy.

6. Staying calm.

Because the sample size is microscopic, I’m trying hard to keep my expectations for Walter Nolen in check. He’s been unbelievable, though. I was giggling when he likened himself to Aaron Donald in the winter; those chuckles have subsided a bit. The Cardinals successfully nabbed a franchise left tackle, and appear to have landed a cornerstone on the defensive line. They’re building this thing the right way.

7. Cleveland’s guy.

I fell in love with Shedeur Sanders during the evaluation process. It wasn’t the accuracy that ultimately sold me. It was the authenticity. He doesn’t try to suppress his confidence in order to appease grumpy executives. He also doesn’t intentionally lean into being a villain. Shedeur is Shedeur. Whether you like him or not, you always know what you’re getting.

As a Bengals fan, my appreciation for Sanders admittedly puts me in quite the predicament. If nothing else, I just hope that his most aggressive critics are mature enough to eat their words when the kid enjoys a long career. Don’t double down on your hatred simply because he made you look foolish.

8. In unison.

NFL discourse is fun, in large part because there is never a unanimous opinion. Patrick Mahomes has three Super Bowl MVPs above the fireplace, and you’ll find plenty of folks who wholeheartedly believe that he’s average.

Kevin Patullo might be the only employee at the corporation that we can all agree on. The man needs his headset removed as soon as possible. This is friendship-driven delusion from Nick Sirianni.

You cannot go scoreless for over 41 minutes of a rivalry game, with the finest offensive personnel in the sport. It’s extremely rare for an elite squad to demote a coordinator midseason, but Sirianni is one of the few coaches who have been brave enough to do it. It’s time, Nick.

9. Yearly tradition.

My annual Davante-Adams-is-better-historically-than-you-think soliloquy has arrived.

Here is the full career of Calvin Johnson - one of the three best football players I’ve ever witnessed - lined up next to the last 135 contests that Adams has appeared in.

This is an all-time great wide receiver, putting together another special campaign as his 33rd birthday nears. Appreciate him.

10. My updated MVP ladder.

1) Matthew Stafford, Rams QB

2) Jaxon Smith-Njigba, Seahawks WR

3) Myles Garrett, Browns EDGE

4) Drake Maye, Patriots QB

5) Jonathan Taylor, Colts RB

6) Jahmyr Gibbs, Lions RB

7) Will Anderson, Texans EDGE

8) Penei Sewell, Lions OT

9) Micah Parsons, Packers EDGE

10) James Cook, Bills RB

Pressroom

Spin It

“Don’t Stop” by Fleetwood Mac. Enjoy.