Welcome to Glass Slipper! A very teary-eyed farewell to Joey Votto. I always wore No. 19 for a reason; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

For years, it was one of my biggest sports pet peeves. I heard the term everywhere, especially in the basketball world. Carmelo Anthony is the best pure scorer in the world. Kevin Durant is such a pure scorer. Yeah, LeBron broke the all-time scoring record. But he’s not a pure scorer. What in the world does any of that even mean? Pure scorer. Huh? To me, it felt like a label that was created so the talking heads could fill some more airtime.

But all of that pure stuff clicked when Rafael Devers burst onto the MLB scene. Suddenly, I understood exactly what it meant. Because that kid was placed on this Earth to hit a baseball. If it’s not too late for me to join the party, I’m ready to declare him the purest hitter I’ve ever seen with my two eyes.

It’s essentially impossible to break an MLB record. Not only has the league been around for so long, but the game has also morphed into such extreme variations through the years. Barry Bonds got to 73 homers in a season because he was pumping himself with HGH. A throng of pitchers posted ridiculous numbers in the early 20th century because they were literally spitting on the baseball. I do think one particular all-time mark is in danger, though. Devers is coming for the doubles record.

Tris Speaker is the leader at the moment, with 792. Meanwhile, Raffy sits in a tie for 716th place, with 254 doubles. I know that may seem like too big of a gap to close, but hear me out.

Let’s examine Devers’ numbers from this year. He’s hit 33 doubles in 112 games, or 0.29 per contest. We’ll assume that he plays 150 games in each of the next 10 seasons, and churns out doubles at the same pace. Where does that land him in a decade? The Boston superstar would finish up his age-37 campaign with 695 doubles in the bank. That puts Speaker’s record firmly within reach.

But we can’t just pencil Raffy in for 44 doubles every year, when he’s only ever actually hit that benchmark once. Right? Well, I would actually argue that it’s possible he cranks them out at an even higher rate. Devers has plenty going for him here. First and foremost, he plays in Boston; that is essentially a prerequisite for anyone trying to surpass Speaker’s 792. Fenway Park - thanks to the Green Monster and the funky wall angles - produces an unnatural amount of doubles. Raffy is under contract with the Red Sox through 2033, and there’s not a chance that they deal him away anytime soon. He’s going to be free to rack up the numbers for the foreseeable future.

Another advantage? Devers plays third base, a defensive position not usually conducive to injuries. As his career progresses, he’ll gradually shift to spots that are even less taxing on the body. In five years, Boston will slide him over to first base, and he’ll eventually become a DH. When you’re only focused on hitting, you can be productive for a very long time. Look at David Ortiz. Just like Devers, Big Papi was a hefty left-handed batter that played in Fenway. Ortiz smashed 48(!!) doubles in his farewell tour, at age 40. Raffy is going to collect a bunch on the back end.

There’s a long way to go, but I’m pulling for Devers. His defense is inconsistent, and his sprint speed is currently in the 29th percentile among MLB players. But that man can sure hit a baseball hard, and I hope we can watch him make a little bit of history.

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“Sir Duke” by Stevie Wonder. One of the most talented humans to ever live.