Welcome to Glass Slipper! LeBron James wins his final gold medal this afternoon; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

It’s a tradition unlike any other. The New York Yankees head into the season with the most loaded roster in the AL, then fall short of the World Series. I tried my best to come up with football and basketball equivalents, so those of you that don’t follow baseball can contextualize this run of disappointment a little bit more clearly. But these repeated New York failures are so much worse than anything that the Bills or Sixers have done - or not done - in recent years.

There is no salary cap in baseball. The richest squads have the most money to work with; needless to say, the Yanks are always stacked. Plus, they have the unquantifiable advantage of being the most storied franchise in all of American sports. An organization that has won 27 championships in a big market with iconic uniforms is naturally going to have more fans than anyone else. Guess what? Those little kids that grow up rooting for New York then develop into pros themselves, and flock to the Yankees in free agency to fulfill a lifelong dream by suiting up for their childhood team. Remember how Gerrit Cole ended up in the Bronx?

The laundry list of advantages just makes the shortcomings even more embarrassing. New York hasn’t been to the World Series since I was in third grade. In the time since, the Yanks’ two most bitter rivals - Boston and Houston - have two rings apiece. Small market Kansas City got one, as well. Even Cleveland and Tampa Bay won the AL, with a fraction of the payroll that New York has.

The run of frustration for the Yankees finally culminated in a nightmare 2023 season, where they missed the playoffs entirely. That should never, ever, ever happen. It is a flat-out fireable offense for the GM, the manager, or both. No organization is more privileged; the absolute least you can do is make the postseason. You know that famous Derek Jeter stat that people like to use, in an attempt to prove that he’s an all-time great winner?

Non-baseball fans really eat that one up, not understanding that it’s actually a disappointing number. Jeter should never have played a single game where his team had been mathematically eliminated. You run out of the dugout alongside all of the best players, because the opposing team can’t afford to employ them; there are no pats on the back for winning games. That what you’re supposed to do.

But instead of cleaning house after this past disastrous campaign, New York just ran the same group back. It’s Year 27 for Brian Cashman, who is still coasting off of the success of an old Yankees dynasty that he didn’t even build himself. It’s Year 7 for Aaron Boone, who consistently gaslights the New York media and has nothing to show for his tenure other than two meaningless division titles and an ugly 14-17 playoff record. At some point, time has to be up for both guys.

But there’s hope for this iteration of the Yankees. Aaron Judge is running away with another MVP, and fellow future Hall of Famer Juan Soto is having the most impressive year of his career. Gerrit Cole is back, and almost every important piece will be ready to go by the postseason. The Astros are down, and the main AL threats are a young Orioles squad and an even younger Guardians team with a first-year manager. The path will never be easier.

New York’s ownership can try to scrounge for excuses, but there are none to speak of. These Yankees have to win the World Series.

Pressroom

Spin It

“Fantasy” by Mariah Carey. Enjoy.