Welcome to Glass Slipper! Truly cannot believe what those human beings just did to Notre Dame; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

**NOTICE: Glass Slipper will arrive on Sunday and Monday this week.

Every Sunday morning, I will make five bold predictions regarding the upcoming NFL games. Each time I get one incorrect, $10 is added to the money pot. At the end of the 18-week regular season, that pool of cash will be spent on gifts for random Glass Slipper subscribers. I hope you have a lot of fun rooting against me! Let’s go.

Prediction 1: Cam Ward and Shedeur Sanders combine for 4+ total touchdowns.

Not too long ago, we were watching clips of Cam and Shedeur working out together before the draft. It was a foregone conclusion that they’d be the first names off the board.

In spite of Sanders’ stunning plummet into Round 5, these two have ultimately ended up exactly where we thought they would. One in Tennessee and one in Cleveland, battling as the starters for their respective franchises. All’s well that ends well.

I hope both rookie quarterbacks put on a show this afternoon. The NFL’s social media manager is brainstorming captions for that postgame jersey swap photo as we speak.

Prediction 2: Indianapolis defeats Jacksonville by 5+ points.

Liam Coen irritates me to no end. I’m starting to believe that he did the weird eyebrow thing in his introductory press conference to distract everyone from his generally unlikable personality. The way he handled his exit from Tampa Bay was unbelievably slimy, and the body language is that of an entitled child. Get outscored 26-0 in the fourth quarter against Davis Mills, and then drop all of your equipment on the ground for someone else to pick up? Nice, Liam. Surely that’s the solution.

The Colts have lost 10 straight in Jacksonville, believe it or not. I think Jonathan Taylor rumbles his way to another big afternoon, and finally puts that bizarre streak to bed.

Prediction 3: The Bears and Packers combine to punt nine times or more.

People tend to forget how awesome this rivalry is when each team is cooking. The colors, the snow, the bad blood. Some of my earliest sports memories are watching these franchises go to war in December.

Even though both squads are headed to the postseason, there is plenty on the line; the winner here sits stop the division, and stays with Los Angeles in the chase for the NFC’s top seed. I’m fully anticipating a physical, low-scoring grudge match unfolding in Lambeau. Enjoy it.

Prediction 4: CJ Stroud finishes with a higher passer rating than Patrick Mahomes on Sunday Night Football.

Let’s not forget about what happened in the Divisional round. Kansas City - with the assistance of multiple objectively bogus calls - sent the Texans packing. Houston then proceeded to dump 100 gallons of lighter fluid on the refs-favor-the-Chiefs movement during their postgame press conferences. It’s hard to remember any other instance where an NFL team was that direct with its officiating-related accusations. Fast-forward to now, and both franchises need a win desperately. We’re back in Missouri, on national television. Needless to say, the tensions will be incredibly high.

It’s been far too long since our buddy CJ delivered an impressive showing in primetime. He’ll submit one this evening, and outshine the three-time champion wearing red.

Prediction 5: 95+ yards from scrimmage for Saquon Barkley against the Chargers.

Including the playoffs, Saquon reached this benchmark in 17 of his 20 appearances last season. He’s already fallen short 10(!!) times this year. A regression was inevitable, but the plummet into sheer irrelevance has been pretty stunning. Barkley is legitimately one of the worst starters at the position at the moment. 3.7 yards per carry? That’s Trent Richardson production, out of a dude that had an opportunity to break Eric Dickerson’s seemingly untouchable record in January.

Saquon is a likable guy, and I want to see him smile again. With the help of that inflatable bunny, No. 26 enjoys a long-awaited strong performance.

• Week 13 Results: 2-3

• Overall Season Picks Record: 28-37

• Current NFL Prize Pot: $370

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“Go Your Own Way” by Fleetwood Mac. Appropriate.