Welcome to Glass Slipper! Jackson Arnold will be headed to Notre Dame in three months. I’ll call my shot now; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Here are my 10 biggest takeaways from Week 3 of the NFL season.

1. A seventh chance?

That’s consecutive games with two touchdowns and no turnovers for Daniel Jones. Hold on for a moment, and imagine. Just imagine. Danny finishes the campaign with 25 TDs and 12 interceptions, and the front office talks itself into giving him another season. The chemistry with Malik Nabers is only getting better! We’ll get him a real running back this summer! We can win with DJ! We can win with DJ!

The Giants could sign the entire First-Team All-Pro squad to the roster in the offseason, and they’re still not sniffing a Super Bowl if this man is the starting quarterback. I sure do hope they give him a seventh year, though. That would be hilarious.

2. Fork in the road.

Sam Darnold’s last college game was against Ohio State, and he - despite the subpar numbers - looked pro-ready that night. I was sold. He was awful with the Jets, and I defended him. Then he was worse in Carolina, and I gave up. After holding a tablet in San Francisco for a few months, he’s now… elite?

It’s time for me to permanently make up my mind on the guy, and I have. I don’t think this is real. I expect Darnold to go on a turnover spree at some point this season, and the Vikings will crumble as a result.

3. Winning solves all.

What is the solution when you despise a team, but adore their QB? I need to figure that out, because there’s no chance that Pittsburgh is taking this job from Justin Fields now. The former Buckeye is the same player as he was in Chicago, yet he’s getting praised online instead of roasted. It’s amazing what a competent supporting cast - and victories, as a result - can do for your reputation.

4. A successful audition.

With Jordan Love planning to return on Sunday, Malik Willis’s relief stint is over. Let’s see how he did in his two starts.

• Completed 25 of 33 passes for 324 yards and 2 TDs

• 12 rushes for 114 yards and a TD

• 0 turnovers

• 2-0 record

The success was certainly aided by Matt LaFleur, my favorite playcaller in the sport. But those are brilliant numbers for anyone, regardless of the situation. Seven or eight teams will be looking for a new quarterback next year, and Malik has a ton of talent and a great mindset. Give the kid a shot!

5. Andy Dalton, of course.

I’m the unofficial conductor of the It’s Carolina’s Fault That Bryce Young Is Bad train. Dalton coming in and throwing for 319 yards and three touchdowns does not help my narrative.

I’m a Bengals fan that’s always pulling for Andy as a human, but that dude has been dumping cold water on my dreams for 14 years.

6. The ultimate pretender.

The Seahawks are leading the NFC West by two full games, and I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a more fake 3-0. They’ve gotten to face Bo Nix in his NFL debut, soon-to-be backup Jacoby Brissett, and Skylar Thompson thus far. The 12s are all excited, but their squad is finishing below .500.

7. A brutal Niners collapse.

Humiliating. A 10-point lead with seven minutes left, against a team with Tutu Atwell as its WR1? You simply cannot lose that game, and San Francisco found a way. What a disaster.

8. Scream and shout.

Justin Simmons and Jessie Bates III have been the two most underrated football players on the planet over the past five seasons, and they’re giving people no choice but to pay attention now. Atlanta took a tough loss on Sunday night, but its safety duo was incredible. The Falcons’ defense is going to be stingy all year.

9. Monday evening notes.

These are my thoughts on each of the four teams in action last night.

Buffalo

Josh Allen is the MVP through three weeks. What he’s doing with a bottom-ten offensive supporting cast is amazing.

Jacksonville

Fire Doug Pederson, tank, and draft Travis Hunter (as a wide receiver, primarily). Deep down, even Trevor Lawrence agrees with that plan.

Washington

That’s the best game any NFL quarterback has played all year. You guys know I’m a Jayden Daniels guy; I didn’t anticipate him being literally perfect in a road environment on national TV. Wow.

Cincinnati

A joke. A comedy. An embarrassment. Imagine being Joe Burrow, and having to fight the urge to fling your defense under the bus during the postgame presser.

The Bengals didn’t turn it over, never punted, and got a sparkling performance from their QB. But they still got stomped by a rookie at home, because no one on Cincy’s defense decided to get off the bus before the contest. Humiliating.

By the way, what an awful showing from some Michigan men these past couple of days. Ronnie Bell and Jake Moody worked together to hand the Rams a win, and then Dax Hill - the worst player on the Bengals - gets roasted by Ohio State great Terry McLaurin on the game-sealing touchdown. I very nearly cracked a smile.

10. Time to peek ahead.

The Week 4 slate isn’t exactly thrilling, but we’re going to learn a lot nonetheless. The Vikings visit Lambeau, the Chargers host the back-to-back champs, and the Seahawks are in Detroit; let’s see how real that trio of surprise teams are. Then, we get Buffalo and Baltimore on Sunday Night Football. That feels like a classic waiting to happen.

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“Told You So” by Paramore. Enjoy.