Welcome to Glass Slipper! I’m incredibly grateful for your support; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

The Clippers’ title window officially slammed shut last week, when Paul George leapt into the outstretched arms of Joel Embiid and Tyrese Maxey.

George’s time in Los Angeles was defined by an air of nonchalance that I never quite understood. At no point did he seem to grasp that the organization had mortgaged its entire future in order to acquire him. The Clippers tossed away a 3-1 lead to Denver in 2020, with George famously flinging a corner three into the side of the backboard; an hour later, he declared to the media that it wasn’t a championship-or-bust season. He consistently failed to display the sense of urgency that you might expect from a ringless superstar attempting to cement his legacy.

Now that the 34-year-old is with the Sixers, no NBA franchise is in a worse position than LA. The current roster has zero shot of winning a title. There isn’t a single promising young player on the team, unless you’re among the strangely large crowd on Twitter that believes Bones Hyland is a star. The future draft picks are the property of Sam Presti. There exists one positive aspect of the Clippers, and he just got yanked from the US Olympic roster because the knee that he originally hurt two months ago is still worrisome.

Steve Ballmer will be tasked with trying to sell out a brand-new $2 billion arena in a city that simply does not care about his team. I go to school in Los Angeles; I’ve seen more people donning Adam Thielen Vikings jerseys on my campus than individuals brave enough to step out in Clippers gear.

The messy situation will get worse when Kawhi Leonard forces his way out of town. To me, this is more of an inevitability than a hot take. I think that trade request could come as soon as this season’s deadline; a splash-hungry Eastern Conference team with the requisite pedigree and assets (Hello, Miami!) is destined to offer the Clippers a golden opportunity to halfway restock their draft capital, and LA’s front office will grab it. Kawhi to the Heat for Terry Rozier, Duncan Robinson, Kel’el Ware, Nikola Jovic, and two first-round picks? I can see the Woj tweet already.

A part of me does feel for Ballmer. It seems odd to commiserate with a billionaire just because his favorite basketball team isn’t elite, but the guy has invested a wild amount of resources into this championship pursuit. He’s also largely responsible for turning the Clippers into a respectable franchise again after the humiliating Donald Sterling scandal. If any owner in the league is due for a friendly bounce, it’s Mr. Microsoft.

Unfortunately, the organization that he purchased is under an irrevocable curse. It’s the only explanation left. Los Angeles will kick off its 55th season in October, and the team has still never made the NBA Finals.

That is some iconic futility. To go a half-century without even playing for a championship is hard to do. The Clippers don’t have a realistic path to title contention until the mid-2030s; I’m starting to wonder if these guys will hang a banner in my lifetime.

It’s a brutal moment to be an LA fan. At least the new logo looks awesome, and they didn’t just copy the Columbus Clip- oh, wait.

Yikes.

Pressroom

Spin It

“Raspberry Beret” by Prince. Enjoy listening to the song that plays in my mind on an infinite loop.