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The Recipe
Can the US men's basketball team avoid humiliation?
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- Jacob Rhee
If there’s a group of athletes at these Olympics that really shouldn’t need any help from me, it’s the American men’s basketball squad. But you never know with the head coach of this team. While Steve Kerr’s nine rings are undeniable, this is the same man that once told Festus Ezeli to sub in during the fourth quarter in Game 7 of the NBA Finals. I’m hoping that Erik Spoelstra and Ty Lue can talk him out of the weird decisions; just in case, I might need to take this three-step blueprint and slide it under the door of Kerr’s hotel room in Paris. You’re welcome in advance, Steve.
Step 1: More Viral Plays
I understand that this seems like a childish ask on the surface. I want candy, and I want slam dunks! But I’m serious; unless the US is playing against France, the crowd can absolutely be won over. You can feel these fans buzzing when the Americans start to click. So, the players should just turn every contest into a home game with their sheer athleticism and talent.
Waited 12 years for this.
Welcome back to the Olympic Stage, LeBron James.
— USA Basketball (@usabasketball)
4:34 PM • Jul 28, 2024
Alley-oops and behind-the-back passes won’t guarantee a gold medal, but they will earn the support of these impressionable spectators. The next time the lane is open, don’t just give us a textbook layup. Have a little fun.
Step 2: Heavier Workloads
It’s the knockout stage, and that means the stars need to be getting more minutes. LeBron should be playing at least 30, and Curry and Durant will ideally receive around 25. I know Kerr is concerned about feelings and optics, but there’s no time for that. The players claim that the sole objective in Paris is to win gold, and that they don’t care about their roles. Remember this Devin Booker tweet from a year ago?
I’ll do it
— Book (@DevinBook)
11:16 PM • Sep 12, 2023
Let these guys prove that playing time doesn’t matter, by forcing them to keep their emotions in check on the bench. Just play the best five for the given situation, regardless of whose ego might be damaged.
Step 3: Get Physical
The opposition perpetually looks far too comfortable. Even when the US wins going away, its defense looks pedestrian and beatable. The obvious solution? Start bumping, grabbing, and talking trash. There’s no reason that small non-NBA guards should be able to create at will against the world’s best players. Team USA’s biggest advantage is the athleticism and size of this roster; make sure that the other squads can feel that difference.
What’s the worst that could possibly happen? Oh, Jrue Holiday got in foul trouble? His Boston backcourt mate is ready to go. Booker jawed too much and got tossed? Anthony Edwards is at the scorer’s table. AD picked up two quick ones? The 2023 MVP is checking in. The Americans can literally be as aggressive as they want, and there are no real negative consequences in this setting. That sounds like a pretty nice advantage to me.
Team USA’s path to gold is simple enough. Don’t you dare mess this thing up, Steve.
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