Welcome to Glass Slipper! Andy Dalton is really about to start an NFL game in 2024; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Here are my 10 biggest takeaways from Week 2 of the NFL season.

1. A Davante-Maxx special.

The Raiders are kind of like the Angels a few years ago. Two diamonds in a pile of garbage.

Davante Adams and Maxx Crosby decided to take this one over, and it was enough to stun Baltimore. The Raiders will have a top-five pick in April, but these two dudes are amazing nonetheless.

2. Um… is this real?

Why are the Saints good? Why does Derek Carr suddenly look like he knows what he’s doing? How is Alvin Kamara - after spending three seasons on the precipice of being washed - leading the MVP race after two weeks? If Klint Kubiak is such a genius, why was he universally disliked by Vikings fans when he was their offensive coordinator?

I have no answers at the moment, only questions.

3. Malik Willis’s moment.

Ryan Tannehill openly refused to mentor Willis in Tennessee, an act of pure idiocy and selfishness. I’m so happy that Malik got out of that situation, and had a performance like this for a franchise that seems to truly care about him.

Maybe Willis does enough while Jordan Love is out to earn a starting job elsewhere, and maybe he doesn’t. Regardless, I’m happy to see that bright smile again.

4. Sam Darnold might actually be good.

Speaking of awesome college quarterbacks that struggled early in their NFL career, Darnold has looked really sharp. My guard is still firmly up, but it takes a good player to throw third-down darts against San Francisco’s defense in crunch time. The Vikings have DeMeco Ryans, Lambeau Field, and the Jets next on their schedule. We’ll have a clearer evaluation of their QB soon enough.

5. An Arizona haymaker.

I know that this is an extremely arbitrary superlative to hand out, but Kyler Murray’s start was the best 17-minute stretch I’ve ever seen a quarterback play. On any level. It was incredible, and it was perfect. The Cards are going to be in the thick of the playoff race as long as he’s healthy.

In regards to Marvin Harrison Jr., it was only a matter of time. Even bigger performances are ahead.

6. Controversy in Arrowhead.

Look, I’m a biased Bengals fan. But that was some pretty eyebrow-raising officiating all day.

I’m not normally one to blame the refs; Evan McPherson could’ve just made that extra point in the third quarter, and Joe Burrow shouldn’t have coughed up the ball a few minutes later. Still, it’s frustrating when game-changing calls consistently favor one particular team in red.

7. Why did the Bears hire Shane Waldron?

He’s so bad. Like, he’s so bad. This dude rode Geno Smith’s coattails during his random 2022 resurgence, and has been coasting off that year ever since. If I didn’t know any better, I’d have thought Waldron was intentionally trying to get Caleb Williams hurt on Sunday evening. Refusing to move the pocket when your franchise cornerstone is getting rocked on each dropback is unbelievable. DeMeco Ryans literally just started sending everyone because he knew Williams was a sitting duck back there.

Waldron will not have this job next season. Coming from the Sean McVay tree doesn’t automatically make you competent.

8. Kirk is not right.

Troy Aikman seemed convinced that Kirk Cousins was moving without restrictions last night. I’m not sure if we were watching the same guy. Cousins isn’t using his lower half whatsoever on some of these throws, and they’re low as a result. That one play where he waddled out of the pocket as he scrambled to his right was alarming to me. Even if the Achilles is actually healed, he is - at the very least - being noticeably cautious and hesitant with it. Cousins put together a nice drive and won the game, but I didn’t love what I saw with his mechanics or mobility at all.

9. Poor Saquon.

Brutal. Barkley probably had tons of loved ones in the stands to watch his home debut in Philadelphia, and the 27-year-old gave away the game with that late drop.

Drake London tried his absolute best to give it back with a dumb celebration, but my Korean king Younghoe Koo wasn’t going to miss with everything on the line. Raheem Morris deserves a lot of credit for stealing a road victory after an ugly Week 1 defeat. Nick Sirianni, on the other hand? Yikes.

10. Time to peek ahead.

The Chargers have been tossing people around in the trenches, and Pittsburgh’s defense is nasty; that should be a fascinating battle. Somehow, Baltimore already finds itself in a must-win situation here in Week 3. The Ravens are traveling to Jerry World, and can’t afford to lose another one with Buffalo and Cincinnati coming down the pike. Meanwhile, the Niners have a chance to kick their rivals in LA into an 0-3 hole. A lot of things could swing in a few days.

Also, my Bengals better not lose again. They better not.

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