Welcome to Glass Slipper! Logan Gilbert, I need you; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Every Sunday morning, I will make five bold predictions regarding the upcoming NFL games. Each time I get one incorrect, $10 is added to the money pot. At the end of the 18-week regular season, that pool of cash will be spent on gifts for random Glass Slipper subscribers. I hope you have a lot of fun rooting against me! Let’s go.

Prediction 1: Miami defeats Cleveland.

Does this count as a bold call? Yes. The Browns are 2.5-point favorites, and their opponent’s vibes literally could not be worse.

Should you watch a single second of this football game? Oh, no. Absolutely not. Come on, guys. Google the final score before you go to bed or something. Don’t waste your afternoon.

Prediction 2: Geno Smith does not throw an interception against the Chiefs.

25 picks in his last 21 games. That is alarming. I still can’t believe how many pundits were praising the Raiders’ front office for panic-paying Geno in April. $75 million over two seasons, for an aging signal-caller coming off back-to-back mediocre campaigns? That was hardly a decision based in logic.

I’m still pulling for Geno; he’s a likable dude, and his cousin really knows how to make me smile. Let’s relax with the giveaways for a while, sir.

Prediction 3: Jayden Daniels scores his first rushing touchdown of the season.

I spoke this into existence for Kyler Murray two weeks ago. Can I do the same for another Asian NFC prince?

Although the eye test has been slightly off, Jayden’s 2025 numbers actually look fine. The fact that people are having legitimate sophomore slump discussions is a testament to how legendary that rookie campaign was.

Daniels hasn’t taken one into the end zone himself in a regular-season contest since December 1st. All signs point to a shootout in Dallas, and I have the 24-year-old ending that drought.

Prediction 4: Christian McCaffrey averages at least 4.5 yards per carry on Sunday Night Football.

It rarely happens anymore, unfortunately. Dating back to Super Bowl LVIII, McCaffrey has reached this threshold only once in his last 11 games. Christian is literally on pace for 2,210 scrimmage yards, so it’s highly unfair to label him washed. The down-to-down burst as a ballcarrier definitely feels different, however.

I want to see this man turn back the clock with the entire country watching. George Kittle returns to the field tonight, and I think his dominant run-blocking helps spring an efficient performance from the former Offensive Player of the Year.

Prediction 5: Jaxon Smith-Njigba finishes with 100+ receiving yards against the Texans.

There’s a special realm that elite NBA players occupy, where individual matchups become a complete afterthought. Like, they flat-out don’t matter. Marcus Morris famously proclaimed himself a LeBron-stopper ahead of the Eastern Conference Finals, and my glorious king proceeded to average a 34-9-8 line in the series. Oh, 2024 Joel Embiid has to deal with Victor Wembanyama tonight? Here’s 70, young man. Better luck next time. Some guys are too talented, too smart, and too good. Nothing you do makes a difference.

JSN is operating in that same space at the moment. People want to see Derek Stingley lock him down tomorrow evening; it’s just not happening. I think the Texans’ young superstar is the second-best corner alive, yet his greatness is a total moot point when No. 11 is on the field. Jaxon will produce regardless.

• Week 6 Results: 3-2

• Overall Season Picks Record: 12-18

• Current NFL Prize Pot: $180

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