Welcome to Glass Slipper! We need to put a penguin on those Youngstown State helmets; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Every Sunday morning, I will make five bold predictions regarding the upcoming NFL games. Each time I get one incorrect, $10 is added to the money pot. At the end of the 18-week regular season, that pool of cash will be spent on gifts for random Glass Slipper subscribers. I hope you have a lot of fun rooting against me! Let’s go.

Prediction 1: Jaxson Dart plays his first NFL snap.

There are few things that Brian Daboll loves more than feeling like the smartest person in the room. He intentionally leaked that the Giants have a Jaxson Dart package in the playbook - getting the whole family’s hopes up in the process - only to have the kid ride the pine for three hours. Good job, Brian! You forced Washington to prepare for your backup quarterback! Well done, sir!

I think Jaxson does make an appearance this afternoon. Even though the contest is in Jerry World, the angry demands to get the rookie on the field will be audible from New York. Let’s see how he fares.

Prediction 2: The Bills and Jets combine for 42 points or fewer.

The Jets have been a bit of a thorn in Josh Allen’s side, if such a thing exists. 16 passing touchdowns and 11 interceptions in 13 games? Those don’t sound like MVP numbers to me.

Both of these defenses looked absolutely brutal in Week 1. I think each unit comes ready to compete, and a low-scoring affair ensues.

Prediction 3: Daniel Jones commits at least two turnovers against Denver.

Don’t fall for it, guys. No way. Trust the six years of subpar football that this man put on tape, not one awesome week. DJ seems like a nice dude, and I was happy to watch him carve up Miami. He’s simply not a reliable NFL quarterback, though.

The Broncos are bloodthirsty, and I think Danny has a rough outing ahead. Anthony Richardson stans will be gifted some extra ammunition for their arguments today.

Prediction 4: The Chiefs win the Super Bowl LIX rematch by 3+ points.

Kansas City will not be opening the season 0-2. Patrick Mahomes won’t let it happen. Andy Reid won’t let it happen. The Swifties won’t let it happen. Dare I say… the officiating crew won’t let it happen?

In all seriousness, the Chiefs deserve the benefit of the doubt. Mahomes hasn’t lost three in a row since college, and I think he’s feeling a sense of urgency right now. KC faces 10 playoff squads this year; you can essentially wave goodbye to that No. 1 seed if Buffalo moves two full games ahead. Nothing could erase the sting of that 40-22 destruction in February, but I’m sure the Kingdom would love a little taste of revenge here nonetheless.

Prediction 5: Atlanta defeats Minnesota on Sunday Night Football.

It’s hard to believe that this will only be the fifth start of Michael Penix’s career. His ascension to stardom is already underway, and even the league understands it. Why else would the Falcons - after seven(!!) consecutive losing campaigns - get more primetime matchups than Lamar Jackson and Joe Burrow?

I need to see more Jalon Walker. Only giving 26 snaps to a dude that sent the fan base into nirvana on draft night is ridiculous. Let’s maybe get our superstar running back more than 12 carries, while we’re at it. Both of those guys enjoy a big evening, and the Falcons get it done in Minneapolis.

• Week 1 Results: 0-5 (Thanks, Mr. Ward)

• Overall Season Picks Record: 0-5

• Current NFL Prize Pot: $50

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