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- Jacob Rhee

Here are my 10 biggest takeaways from Super Bowl LIX.

1. Josh Sweat, take a bow.

That man should be in Disney World, with Mickey ears on his head and a Super Bowl MVP on his resume.

He had ridiculous hype coming out of high school, tumbled to the fourth round because of a horrific injury, and was just the best player on the field with the whole world watching. At the very least, that’s a low-budget documentary script.

2. Never change.

I love Philadelphia sports fans so much. How can you not? They were crying tears of joy on Sunday evening; 48 hours later, they’re booing their former MVP center out of the arena for passing up a wide-open three. That’s real passion.

3. Explain it again, with those nuggies.

Longtime Chiefs backup Chad Henne praised Andy Reid for preserving certain calls throughout the year, so he can spring them on opponents in the perfect moments. Um… where exactly were they?

In addition to the entire team coming out flat, that was a downright bizarre offensive gameplan. Here are Kansas City’s first 12 plays. Let me know if you notice any sort of trend.

• Complete Pass

• Complete Pass

• Incomplete Pass

• Incomplete Pass

• Complete Pass

• Run(!)

• Incomplete Pass

• Complete Pass

• Complete Pass

• Incomplete Pass

• Sack

• Sack

• Interception

Every single offensive lineman in history loves to run block. Part of the reason you establish the ground game early is to get your big boys in a rhythm before asking them to ward off a bunch of 300-pounders in pass protection. I did not think I’d have to explain this concept to a former tackle who is trying to barge his way into head coaching GOAT debates.

4. The four biggest championship chokes of the 21st century.

2011 LeBron James. 2013 Peyton Manning. 2016 Steph Curry. 2025 Patrick Mahomes.

I watched Joe Burrow hang tough in the Super Bowl a few years ago, with five CFL guys up front. I don’t want to hear about the Chiefs’ offensive line. Mahomes’s first interception was literally a Will Levis decision, and he couldn’t get into Eagles territory for nine consecutive drives. That’s an utter humiliation.

5. Snickering.

Admit it. You giggled when the broadcast showed Kenny Pickett and his little white gloves entering the contest. Don’t worry, that wasn’t a disrespectful reaction. It’s just objectively funny to watch that man play football sometimes.

6. A full 180.

I’ve been skeptical of George Karlaftis since 2021, when he rolled into the Shoe with all sorts of buzz and proceeded to look like a middle school reserve against Nicholas Petit-Frere.

I’m totally in on him now. Karlaftis was one of the only KC players that seemed truly hungry for another Lombardi; Steve Spagnuolo has himself another cornerstone.

7. A Howie Roseman coronation.

He’s the best general manager in professional sports.

Roseman infamously whiffed on that Jalen Reagor pick in 2020, and apparently decided to never make a bad selection again. Whichever lucky kid gets taken with the No. 32 pick in April probably has All-Pros in their future.

8. We miss you, Greg.

Tom Brady is unacceptably bad in the booth. The football world deserves better. He spent four hours talking about himself, and the chemistry with Kevin Burkhardt is still nonexistent. My only hope is that Brady becomes so engrossed with his Raiders job that he takes off the headset permanently.

9. Into the sunset.

I think Travis Kelce is retiring. He’s really given no indication of that yet, but his play spoke for itself on Sunday. I could make the argument that it was worst performance of his career. Dropped passes, no effort on blocking assignments, and lonely camera cutaways. It very much felt like the end.

10. Time to peek ahead.

Just for fun, let’s fire off a prediction for next year’s Super Bowl right now. Give me Houston over Philadelphia in 361 days. Prepare yourself for the most annoying I-told-you-so victory lap of all time if that one comes to fruition.

• Super Bowl Results: 4-1

• Overall Season Picks Record: 39-71

• Final NFL Prize Pot: $710

Glass Slipper Rewards Season begins soon. :)

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