Welcome to Glass Slipper! The next time we see Ashton Jeanty wearing a helmet, it will have a star on it. Happy New Year; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Here are my 10 biggest takeaways from Week 17 of the NFL season.

1. Dotted line.

You do not let Tee Higgins walk out the door. I’m talking to you, Duke Tobin. Don’t you dare.

The passing game is the lone aspect of this organization that is above average. Give that man whatever he wants.

2. A Hollywood star.

Jared Verse has now gone seven consecutive weeks without a sack, yet he absolutely deserves the Defensive Rookie of the Year. I think he’s one of the ten best edge rushers in the world already.

3. Disaster in the Big Apple.

It’s the rare instance where the outcome of a game destroys both teams involved. Indianapolis gets eliminated from playoff contention in humiliating fashion, and the Giants slide down from the top position in the draft to No. 4. Leave it to Drew Lock to ruin everything.

This is so bad for New York. The 2025 class is widely considered to have only two elite signal-callers, and the front office is now slated to pick behind both the Titans and Browns. In a rather cruel twist, the decision between Shedeur Sanders and Cam Ward has suddenly turned into a discussion involving Kirk Cousins and Jalen Milroe. Yikes.

4. The one.

Brock Bowers is going to be the first tight end to ever win the NFL receiving title someday. He has a decent shot at a top-five finish in Year 1, with Gardner Minshew, Aidan O’Connell, and Desmond Ridder throwing him the ball.

When Travis Kelce and George Kittle finally pass the torch, they’ll be handing it directly to this kid.

5. Birds of prey.

Are we sure that the Eagles aren’t just going to romp to the Lombardi Trophy? Jason Kelce retired, and the offensive line got better. Both rookie corners are brilliant. Saquon Barkley is inevitable. If I had to make a Super Bowl prediction at this moment, I think I’m rolling with Philadelphia.

6. A certified winner.

I’m kind of blown away by Kevin O’Connell at this point. Take out the Kirk Cousins torn Achilles campaign, and this is what his recent track record looks like.

• 2020 Rams (Offensive Coordinator): 10-6, made playoffs

• 2021 Rams (Offensive Coordinator): 12-5, won Super Bowl

• 2022 Vikings (Head Coach): 13-4, won division

• 2024 Vikings (Head Coach): 14-2, made playoffs

If we fast-forwarded to 2035 and found out that he wasn’t still running Minnesota, I’d be pretty stunned. The dude is pure magic.

7. No regrets?

Caleb Williams could make five Pro Bowls, and the Bears might still end up looking foolish for drafting him. The guy who came off the board next is legitimately that good.

Washington’s franchise quarterback has tallied 3,530 passing yards and 864 on the ground, with a game left. Do you know how many guys - rookie or not - have reached both of those benchmarks in the same season before? Let me get you a full list here. It might take a second, so please be patient. And… oh. Zero. The Michael Vick comparisons were always lazy; at this point, they’re downright disrespectful.

8. Gibby’s glow-up.

Just over three years ago, Jahmyr Gibbs was toiling away on a nine-loss Georgia Tech squad. Today, he’s right there with Bijan Robinson as the best running back in the NFL under the age of 25.

Lions fans were punching air when Brad Holmes scooped up David Montgomery in 2023, and then immediately spent the No. 12 pick on Jahmyr. There’s now a very real possibility that Gibbs becomes the youngest Super Bowl MVP ever in six weeks.

9. My updated MVP ladder.

1) Lamar Jackson, Ravens QB

2) Saquon Barkley, Eagles RB

3) Josh Allen, Bills QB

4) Jared Goff, Lions QB

5) Derrick Henry, Ravens RB

6) Kerby Joseph, Lions S

7) Ja’Marr Chase, Bengals WR

8) Joe Burrow, Bengals QB

9) Sam Darnold, Vikings QB

10) Jayden Daniels, Commanders QB

10. Time to peek ahead.

The freezing war between the Bengals and Steelers on Saturday night is obviously my sole concern at the moment. But that Denver-Miami-Cincinnati wild-card race is not the only drama that will unfold this weekend. The AFC North champion has yet to be crowned. Same with the NFC South. The draft order is due for one final shake-up.

We’ll cap off the regular season by watching the Vikings and Lions battle on Sunday Night Football, with the No. 1 seed - and the division title - hanging in the balance. A whole lot of entertainment is on the way.

Pressroom

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“Moonlight” by Ariana Grande. A sweaty palms evening.