Welcome to Glass Slipper! Up late, thinking about 2007 Brian Westbrook; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Here are my 10 biggest takeaways after the conclusion of the NFL regular season.

1. Learn and grow.

I hope this season serves as a lesson to those that spend their free time attempting to shove Baker Mayfield up the quarterback tier list. Enough. It’s a futile exercise. Mayfield - a former No. 1 overall pick - will head into Year 9 with a 58-62 record as a starter, zero conference championship appearances, and a lower lifetime passer rating than Derek Carr. He’s the Andrea Bargnani of the NFL.

A stream of Baker stans are going to barge into my Twitter DMs upon reading this segment, yapping about his supposed killer instinct. That’s fine. I’ll respond to every message with the name of an active signal-caller that I’d take over your hero. My list runs 18 deep.

Now that we’ve covered a former Big 12 guy that gets his reputation boosted for no apparent reason, let’s discuss one that experiences the exact opposite effect…

2. Staying relevant.

Here are Brock Purdy’s career numbers, lined up next to Joe Burrow’s first 45 starts.

Look, I’m not petitioning for Purdy to be included in top-four discussions. But there exists a gaping chasm between the dude’s actual performance, and the way he’s viewed by the football world. Brock is not some feel-good story that Kyle Shanahan is dragging to competence. This is a fantastic QB, who just went 12-5 with an average defense and no special wide receivers in the league’s best division. Turn on the tape, and fork over your flowers.

3. Far and away.

Myles Garrett jabbed at the Steelers for caring more about his pursuit of the sack record than the outcome of the game. It’s only right that we hold the big man accountable - in a playful manner - for turning around and doing the exact same thing against my Bengals. I’ve watched Myles for over a decade, and that’s the least he’s ever cared about stopping the run. Don’t worry, buddy. We all understand.

Garrett is still only 30, and never gets hurt. Bruce Smith has about six more years to cherish that career mark, before it vanishes from his grasp.

4. Houston is a problem.

The Texans have not stumbled in over two months. Their five losses came to teams with a combined 0.718 win percentage, by a total of 24 points. CJ Stroud looks sharp, and almost every important contributor is healthy. Best of luck to the rest of the AFC.

5. Back it up.

Jacksonville people are all aboard the I-dare-you-to-keep-doubting-us train, and it’s completely understandable. I had the Jags at 6-11 before the season, and they just put the finishing touches on their first 13-win campaign since the turn of the century. If Liam Coen was more likable, I might actually be enjoying this reign of terror.

The entire city has been itching for a chance to feed crow to all of its skeptics. Here we are. Josh Allen walks into your stadium five days from now; send him packing, and I’ll gladly issue an apology for neglecting that invitation to the bandwagon.

6. Down the middle.

I honestly believe that you could chop the Broncos’ defense in half, and be left with two above-average units. Think about it. One side gets Nik Bonitto, John Franklin-Myers, Dre Greenlaw, and Ja’Quan McMillian. The other has Zach Allen, Jonathon Cooper, Talanoa Hufanga, and Pat Surtain II. Vance Joseph takes the first group, and Jim Leonhard - who I’ve wanted in Ohio State or Bengals colors for years - is assigned to the second. Give me either.

Denver will pick towards the end of Round 1, and I really hope it’s Anthony Hill or CJ Allen. Keep sharpening your superpower until it’s legitimately unfair.

7. Steady hand.

Did Jacoby Brissett silently play himself into a QB1 job this season? 3,366 passing yards, 24 total touchdowns, eight interceptions. 12 starts. I can name a whole lot of head coaches that would eagerly sign up for those numbers from their quarterback in 2026.

If I’m Kevin O’Connell, a trade for Jacoby is first on my list of priorities this spring. JJ McCarthy has played in exactly 10 of the Vikings’ 34 contests since entering the league, and is also pretty bad at football. Even if Brissett doesn’t steal the lead role, he’ll settle in as arguably the most valuable backup in the sport. The guy is absolutely worth a fifth-round pick.

8. Another.

I despise the Ravens, yet my heart sank like a stone for Lamar Jackson once again.

This is how his last five campaigns have ended.

• 2021: Sprained ankle in Week 14, with Baltimore at 8-4.

• 2022: Sprained knee in Week 13, with Baltimore at 7-4.

• 2023: Zay Flowers fumbles at the goal line.

• 2024: Mark Andrews drops the ball.

• 2025: Tyler Loop misses wide right.

In those 2023 and 2024 losses, Lamar definitely could have done more. He did just about everything possible on Sunday evening. Perhaps his new head coach will help reverse the luck.

9. My final MVP ladder.

1) Matthew Stafford, Rams QB

2) Drake Maye, Patriots QB

3) Myles Garrett, Browns EDGE

4) Jaxon Smith-Njigba, Seahawks WR

5) James Cook, Bills RB

6) Puka Nacua, Rams WR

7) Derrick Henry, Ravens RB

8) Kevin Byard, Bears S

9) Jonathan Taylor, Colts RB

10) Devin Lloyd, Jaguars LB

10. Time to peek ahead.

This is my favorite batch of Wild Card matchups in recent memory.

Panthers-Rams might get out of hand, but I expect every other clash to be a one-score game in the fourth. It all begins on Saturday; let’s go.

Pressroom

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“The Hardest Part” by Olivia Dean. Enjoy.