Welcome to Glass Slipper! Christian Yelich going 0-for-4 tonight would be nothing short of delightful; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Here are my 10 biggest takeaways from Week 7 of the college football season.

1. Demond Williams, certified showstopper.

I think our 5-foot-11 king up in Seattle is an NFL player. Don’t tell the get-off-my-lawn crowd that only wants to see a giant taking snaps. 24 career total touchdowns and just two interceptions, as a teenager in a premier conference. The kid’s talent is downright mesmerizing.

2. Bama is back.

When a sports team experiences sustained success, its fans get more perceptive. They’ve learned what a championship standard looks like, and can thus identify the areas in which the squad is falling short. Needless to say, I trust Alabama supporters to provide an accurate evaluation of their program. Those folks are strutting around with puffed chests right now, and that’s bad news for the rest of us.

I still want to see the front four eat against a great offensive line, but the Tide certainly feel like a serious contender. That Florida State debacle gets more bizarre by the minute.

3. The pipeline strengthens.

Donte Whitner. Troy Smith. Ted Ginn Jr. Christian Bryant. Cardale Jones. Marshon Lattimore. Arvell Reese. I’d just like to extend my sincerest thanks to Glenville High School. Keep sending your superstars to Columbus, please.

4. Brent Venables’ main priority.

Find a running back, man. Create a list of every human on the roster that you trust to hold onto the ball, and give each dude a shot.

Oklahoma is 103rd in the nation in yards per rushing attempt, which is five spots behind Oklahoma State. That’s not exactly glamorous company to be keeping.

5. Unhappy Valley.

No way, man. There is no way. We all agree that the nightmare in the Rose Bowl nine days ago was among the most humiliating college football losses of the 21st century. I could make an argument that this one is even worse.

At home, to a Northwestern squad that was a -5 in the turnover battle against Tulane in Week 1? I’d love to give you some confident analysis that fully analyzes the root of Penn State’s failures, but I’m just completely dumbfounded. The nation pointed its finger at James Franklin, and he ultimately took the fall yesterday; I suspect that we’re about to find out that the problems extend further than him.

On the eve of the Oregon game, the Nittany Lions may have been my title pick. Now, I’m looking at their upcoming schedule. Interim head coach Terry Smith will bring a new starting quarterback to Iowa City, followed by clashes with Ohio State and Indiana. Is… is Penn State 3-6 coming out of that stretch? Could this crew really be sitting at home during bowl season? I can’t believe that these are legitimate questions. What an absolute disaster of a campaign.

6. Only time will tell.

Let’s give some rapid-fire predictions as to what’s next for James Franklin, Drew Allar, and Penn State.

Franklin: He does TV work for a year, then jumps back into coaching for the 2027 season. My way-too-early, shot-in-the-dark guess is that he winds up as the head man at Auburn.

Allar: Big No. 15 declares for the draft, and has to wait until Round 5 before coming off the board. In an unfortunate - and unfathomable - turn of events, he’s selected later than his predecessor Sean Clifford was in 2023.

PSU: As a Buckeye boy, I’m most afraid of Will Stein grabbing this job. I think Matt Rhule is ultimately the hire, though. He played for the Nittany Lions, and it wouldn’t be his first time bolting from a campus that was just starting to fall in love with him.

7. Google me.

Indiana just strolled into Autzen Stadium, and tossed around a top-three Oregon team in the trenches. That’s not a sentence I ever thought I’d type.

At this point, it’s disrespectful of me to act stunned when the Hoosiers pass another test. These guys are real, and only a massive upset could prevent them from finishing 12-0.

8. Lincoln’s revenge.

Look, Lincoln Riley has made himself a pretty easy target in recent years. He cooked the ugliest brisket in history, ditched Oklahoma, then lost eight times in two seasons with a Heisman-winning quarterback.

A lot of us are going to owe Riley an apology if USC can go 5-1 down the stretch. He’s currently turning Jayden Maiava into a legitimate NFL prospect, and has the fan base invested again; a playoff berth with this group would be the single finest accomplishment of his coaching career.

9. My updated Heisman ladder.

1) Jacob Rodriguez, Texas Tech LB

2) Fernando Mendoza, Indiana QB

3) Rueben Bain Jr., Miami (FL) EDGE

4) Haynes King, Georgia Tech QB

5) Carson Beck, Miami (FL) QB

6) Cashius Howell, Texas A&M EDGE

7) Ty Simpson, Alabama QB

8) Dante Moore, Oregon QB

9) Blake Horvath, Navy QB

10) Makai Lemon, USC WR

10. Time to peek ahead.

An awesome slate is ahead, including a trio of massive SEC battles. LSU and Vanderbilt. Ole Miss and Georgia. Tennessee and Alabama. It’s a monumental moving day.

We also see USC travel to South Bend, and another edition of the Holy War in Provo. College football is the best.

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