Welcome to Glass Slipper! I defended Jazz Chisholm Jr. a few days ago, and the kid has since hit four bombs and led the Yankees to a 4-0 record. New York owes me a heartfelt thank you note for the good energy; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

In my July 20th edition of Glass Slipper, I mentioned that the Chicago White Sox might be the worst baseball team to ever exist. I really wasn’t joking when I brought it up, and the possibility of us witnessing such a humiliating historical feat has only grown. Allow me to fill you in on two major developments that have occurred since then.

1. Chicago’s losing streak has ballooned to 17(!!)

2. The team (obviously) sold at the trade deadline

The worst 162-game record in MLB history was posted by the 2003 Tigers, who finished 43-119. These White Sox currently sit at 27-84. The time-honored tank strategy worked out perfectly for Detroit, who landed Justin Verlander with the resulting high pick and made the World Series shortly after. Things will not play out the same way for the White Sox. They could draft Mike Trout, Mookie Betts, and Lou Gehrig next year. It won’t matter. This franchise is far too incompetent to win anything.

If you haven’t heard, I’m a fan of the Cleveland Cavaliers, the Cincinnati Reds, and the Cincinnati Bengals; I know better than pretty much everyone what it feels like to root for a sports team with a bad owner. But trying to make sense of Jerry Reinsdorf’s decisions is a difficult task, even for me. Those of you that watched The Last Dance probably remember Reinsdorf as the man who elected to rebuild the Bulls instead of pursuing a seventh title with Michael Jordan. That foolishness was not an exception for Reinsdorf, but rather the norm. He once allegedly argued that finishing in second place was better than winning. He yanked his buddy Tony La Russa out of retirement to come fall asleep in the dugout and ruin one of the best young cores in baseball. In the last 107 years, the MLB season has concluded without the White Sox winning a playoff series 106 times. That is a real stat.

Let’s say that a big-name, franchise-changing free agent was enamored with living in the city of Chicago. They’d just sign with the Cubs, and it wouldn’t be a decision. You know why? Because that elite player can’t join the White Sox. Like, it’s actually not possible. The largest deal that the team has ever given was a paltry five-year, $75 million contract to Andrew Benintendi in 2022; the organization clearly has some sort of mandate against employing good players. By the way, I literally think I’m better at baseball than Benintendi right now. I don’t think Reinsdorf will be shelling out another deal even that size anytime soon.

Sports fans should be pulling for the 2024 White Sox to secure their place as the worst team ever. It will be the only notable thing this franchise accomplishes for a long time.

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