Welcome to Glass Slipper! I have a higher draft stock than DJ Uiagalelei; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

**NOTICE: Glass Slipper will arrive on Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday this week.

Here are my 10 biggest takeaways from Week 15 of the NFL season.

1. Clearance rack.

The total value on Brock Purdy’s imminent contract drops by $25 million every month. This campaign has turned into a replica of 2020; San Francisco was the defending NFC champion, and had to swallow a 6-10 reset season when the entire roster got hurt.

In a strange way, Brock is actually helping out his future self by performing badly. When the Niners can afford that difference-making right tackle in 2027 free agency, he’ll be grateful for driving down his own price with these 15 passing touchdowns and 12 turnovers. You have to commend the young man for playing the long game.

2. Dirty little secret.

Bobby Slowik is regarded as an attractive head coaching candidate around the league, yet the fans who know him best are convinced he’s a fraud. Like, Texans supporters are literally pleading for another franchise to poach him.

The more I watch, the more I understand the complaints. These playcalls on first down are shockingly bland. Houston’s general lack of speed on offense might make it hard to get too creative, but I promise that slamming Joe Mixon up the gut for a yard isn’t the only option on that sheet. Come on, Bobby. You make a ton of money, and you have a young star quarterback leading the huddle. Have a little fun.

3. Down the drain.

Tua Tagovailoa just grabbed Miami’s playoff hopes and punted them into the sun. That shot of Mike McDaniel staring at the turf after his quarterback’s fourth and final turnover was kind of hilarious. This group annually laughs and flexes its way through the schedule, then cowers in the corner when a real opponent shows up.

Tyreek Hill will be 31 next year. Same for Jalen Ramsey. Calais Campbell is probably going to bolt. The organizational arrogance has grown stale, and now the championship window might be shut.

4. S-Tier.

When we’re listening to podcasts in 2035, will folks include Davante Adams in their list of the five best wide receivers ever?

I think he’ll be right there in the discussion. Terrell Owens makes the cut for a lot of people; let’s take TO’s numbers through 11 seasons and line them up next to Davante.

That looks pretty tight to me.

5. Seamless.

Last week, I discussed how much I liked the idea of Cam Ward landing with the Giants. After some thought, I think Shedeur Sanders is an even cleaner fit.

It’s very simple. The young signal-caller from Colorado played behind a garbage offensive line. Ward did not. Which one do you think will be more prepared to produce while being protected by Evan Neal?

Also, Malik Nabers is essentially a carbon copy of Travis Hunter offensively. Shedeur should feel right at home wearing those blue helmets.

6. A time-honored debate.

When the entire NFL world was split on whether the Bengals should draft Ja’Marr Chase or Penei Sewell in 2019, I loudly pushed for the tackle. Even though both guys are incredible now, I’m perfectly fine with admitting that I was completely wrong. Here is New England, in the exact same spot.

The Patriots’ offensive line is garbage. So are the wide receivers. Let the arguments begin.

7. Pay attention!

Philadelphia hasn’t lost since September. It’s almost Christmas. The national media should probably… acknowledge that? Please stop shoving Dan Campbell content in our faces.

8. I once believed in Sam Howell.

I’m ashamed, and I’m embarrassed. I could’ve easily kept this disastrous take hidden in the past, but I deserve the jeers.

He legitimately looked like an XFL player on Sunday night.

9. My updated MVP ladder.

1) Josh Allen, Bills QB

2) Lamar Jackson, Ravens QB

3) Saquon Barkley, Eagles RB

4) Jalen Hurts, Eagles QB

5) Jared Goff, Lions QB

6) Ja’Marr Chase, Bengals WR

7) Cam Heyward, Steelers DT

8) Joe Burrow, Bengals QB

9) TJ Watt, Steelers EDGE

10) Kerby Joseph, Lions S

10. Time to peek ahead.

We’re getting Broncos-Chargers on Thursday evening, and Eagles-Commanders two days later. In addition, there are a couple of desperate friends going to war. Kyle Shanahan vs. Mike McDaniel; the loser’s postgame session will be an absolute must-watch.

Pressroom

Spin It

“Rhythm of the Night” by DeBarge. Impeccable percussion.