Welcome to Glass Slipper! $765 million to play a child’s game; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Here are my 10 biggest takeaways from college football’s conference championship weekend.

1. Steve Sarkisian, certified folder.

This man just shrivels up in crunch time. It’s like clockwork. He can dial up a cheeky snap between Arch Manning’s legs on a 4th and 1 in the first half, but he can’t find the right call down the stretch. You’re not beating Georgia in Atlanta when Bert Auburn trots on for a field goal attempt six times.

Oh, one more thing. That little snippy halftime interview was absolutely pathetic. You’re irrationally mad at the refs, so you decide to make things uncomfortably for Laura Rutledge. Nice mature decision, dude. Way to set the right example for the kids on your roster.

2. Is it Arch’s moment?

If there was ever a time to make the switch, it’d be right now. A 14-day break, right after Quinn Ewers unravels against the Dawgs for the second time.

This kind of reminds me of the situation that 2021 Michigan was in. Cade McNamara had a lower ceiling, but the incredibly talented backup wasn’t quite ready. Let’s see if Sarkisian has the guts to pull the trigger.

3. Oregon’s defense has questions to answer.

I… think the unit is good? I don’t really know, actually. The Ducks have faced three offenses in the top 58 nationally in points per game; Ohio State, Penn State, and Boise State. Each one got whatever it wanted. That front seven is the only area of Dan Lanning’s team that feels even remotely vulnerable.

4. Dillon Gabriel delivers again.

The season numbers didn’t wind up being as gaudy as we all expected, but I don’t care. This dude saved the two best performances of his career for the two biggest stages. If my life depended on one college football contest, I’d want Dillon leading the huddle.

5. Iowa State falls flat.

The Cyclones were sprinting stride for stride with Arizona State, and then produced this catastrophic six-possession stretch out of nowhere.

• Missed FG

• Punt

• End of First Half

• Fumble

• Interception

• Fumble

Yikes. A shot at a first-round bye turns into an invitation to the Pop-Tarts Bowl, in the blink of an eye.

6. Are you awake now?

18 touches for 208 yards and three total touchdowns. It’s Cam Skattebo, folks.

Our friend Cam may not be aware of a certain gentleman up in Boise, but I appreciate the confidence nonetheless. This is a former zero-star recruit that spent three years at FCS Sacramento State. Now he’s forcing his way onto draft boards, and dragging a program to the CFP field. Amazing.

7. How did the committee do?

Fine. The bracket is literally fine. Enough with the complaining. I personally would’ve had Notre Dame as the No. 5 seed, ahead of Texas and Penn State. The Irish have won 10 straight, and own the largest point differential in the country. They also lost at home to a five-loss MAC squad, so I won’t fight too hard.

I wish everyone would stop whining. Given the criteria, the committee obviously chose the correct 12 schools. Just be appreciative that the Alabama logo didn’t pop up.

8. Ohio State’s path.

Sure, it’s tough. Whose fault is that? Oh, you wanted a favorable draw? Maybe don’t slide down as time expires in Eugene. Perhaps you shouldn’t choke against Sherrone Moore as a 19.5-point home favorite. If you spot a member of Buckeye Nation whining, please ignore them.

9. My final Heisman ladder.

1) Ashton Jeanty, Boise State RB

2) Travis Hunter, Colorado WR/CB

3) Dillon Gabriel, Oregon QB

4) Cam Skattebo, Arizona State RB

5) Tyler Warren, Penn State TE

6) Cam Ward, Miami (FL) QB

7) Bryson Daily, Army QB

8) Caleb Downs, Ohio State S

9) Jahdae Barron, Texas CB

10) Kurtis Rourke, Indiana QB

10. Time to peek ahead.

We’re about to watch College Football Playoff games, hosted on actual campuses. How awesome is that?

Indiana takes that short trip down to South Bend, to start us off. SMU enters Happy Valley. Clemson hits the road to try and stun Texas. Then we get Tennessee and Ohio State, under the lights in Columbus. Are you ready?

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