Welcome to Glass Slipper! No comment on Quentin Johnston; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

Here are my 10 biggest takeaways from Week 12 of the NFL season.

1. The blueprint.

The Panthers are notoriously incompetent, so allow me to spoon-feed their front office an appropriate offseason plan.

• Don’t you dare give up on Bryce Young. He was awesome again.

• Spend big on defensive free agents. Go steal Dre Greenlaw and Charvarius Ward from the Niners or something.

• Draft Tetairoa McMillan (Arizona WR) in Round 1.

• Draft Tre Harris (Ole Miss WR) in Round 2.

The offensive line is actually fine, and you just went toe-to-toe with Kansas City. Did I mention that the NFC South is a complete joke? There will be a path to the playoffs as soon as next year. Just listen to me.

2. What’s next for Indianapolis?

GM Chris Ballard seems to have infinite job security, regardless of how many mediocre campaigns he strings together. So, I think the course of action here is pretty clear. Run Anthony Richardson back out there in Week 1 next September, and declare to the world that he’s starting every game. If he develops into a real guy, that’s awesome. If not? Well, the best player in franchise history has a certain nephew coming out of school in the ensuing draft.

3. An age-old question.

We all know the eyebrow-raising numbers regarding Tua Tagovailoa’s performance in cold weather. Well, we’re about to find out if those are fluky or not.

The Dolphins are in Lambeau in two days, and they close the regular season with trips to Cleveland and New Jersey. Want to get to the playoffs? Chug some chicken broth and throw some touchdowns, buddy.

4. Bye, Brian.

You can always tell when a professional sports team lays down, and the Giants did it on Sunday. Even if there were plans to bring back Brian Daboll in 2025, those had to have flown out the window. That was absolutely humiliating.

If I could make an extremely early prediction, I think Daboll is going to wind up as Philadelphia’s offensive coordinator. Kellen Moore gets hired as a head coach somewhere, and the Eagles replace him with a guy that has worked with both Jalen Hurts and Saquon Barkley. I can already envision the man in green.

5. Pick a direction.

The Cowboys are obviously not good enough to contend, but they’re also too talented to fully tank. This is the organizational equivalent to facing 4th and 8 from your opponent’s 42-yard line. As a Bengals fan, I can assure you that no man’s land is not an enjoyable place to reside.

6. The 71 Million Dollar Man.

I adore Deebo Samuel, but I also call things how I see it. The season-long disappearing act has somehow gotten worse; this dude is now actively hurting San Francisco.

I remember Deebo’s lethal 2021 far too vividly to rule out a nice finishing kick here. But it sure is ugly right now. Samuel was the single worst player on the field against Green Bay, and there’s a chance that we’re watching the Niners’ Super Bowl window shut before our eyes.

7. Hold on tight, Eric Dickerson.

Last week, I talked about Saquon Barkley’s chances of joining the 2,000-yard club. Forget that; he’s coming for the all-time single-season record. Saquon needs 714 in five games. I can see those palms getting sweaty, Eric.

8. I like Nick Sirianni.

I don’t care who knows it, either. Sure, he goes overboard with the antics sometimes. I’d much rather my head coach care too much, than stand there motionless for three hours like Matt Eberflus.

I’m not quite sure Eagles fans understand how good they have it.

9. My updated MVP ladder.

1) Lamar Jackson, Ravens QB

2) Saquon Barkley, Eagles RB

3) Josh Allen, Bills QB

4) Derrick Henry, Ravens QB

5) Jalen Hurts, Eagles QB

6) Kerby Joseph, Lions S

7) Ja’Marr Chase, Bengals WR

8) Jared Goff, Lions QB

9) Joe Burrow, Bengals QB

10) Cam Heyward, Steelers DT

10. Time to peek ahead.

Thanksgiving football is always entertaining, no matter who’s playing. Then, we get three great games on Sunday. The Chargers travel to Atlanta. Two of the league’s five best teams meet, with Philadelphia and Baltimore clashing. In desperate search of a victory, the Niners head to Orchard Park on national television. Let’s go.

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“Roar” by Katy Perry. Oh, the nostalgia.