Welcome to Glass Slipper! Just pay Ja’Marr Chase already; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

NFC North

1. Packers (12-5)

2. Lions (10-7)

3. Bears (7-10)

4. Vikings (7-10)

One of the coolest things in sports at the moment is seeing the clear, tangible impact that Aaron Rodgers had on Jordan Love. The casual bouncing in the pocket, the nonchalant wrist flicks from that three-quarter arm slot, the pinpoint off-platform throws. Go look at Love’s Utah State tape; it’s evident how much of that stuff he grabbed while sitting behind Rodgers for three years. The main difference is that young Jordan actually seems like an awesome person.

The Lions missed their opportunity. Last season was a perfect storm, and they had San Francisco on the ropes in the NFC Championship Game. Perhaps I’m overreacting to that Packers-Cowboys playoff massacre, but this feels like Green Bay’s division to lose from this point forward. A nice offseason will keep Detroit in the picture, but this won’t be the same dominant team.

Caleb Williams is going to be good, but the supporting cast still isn’t ready. Sam Darnold will never lead an NFL team to the playoffs.

NFC South

1. Falcons (11-6)

2. Panthers (8-9)

3. Saints (7-10)

4. Buccaneers (6-11)

I know. Watching the Falcons win 11 games would be weird for me, as well. But Atlanta has built a nice arsenal of weapons, and finally has a real quarterback that can unlock it. Zach Harrison flashed in Year 1, and he’ll now get to rush opposite from the elite Matthew Judon. On the back end, I think Justin Simmons and Jessie Bates III have a chance to be the best safety tandem we’ve seen since Earl Thomas and Kam Chancellor. This is a really, really good football team.

The Panthers jump to eight wins behind a resurgent campaign from my sweet ray of sunshine Bryce Young. Meanwhile, I have New Orleans and Tampa Bay dropping to the cellar. Derek Carr is still coasting off of that one random MVP-caliber season, which was almost as fluky as Baker Mayfield’s 2023.

NFC East

1. Eagles (12-5)

2. Cowboys (9-8)

3. Commanders (7-10)

4. Giants (3-14)

The Eagles’ Wild Card loss to the Bucs was among the most pathetic efforts I have ever seen from any organization in my lifetime. I’m glad that Joe Buck and Troy Aikman decided to call out the effort on the broadcast. Yet, I can’t bring myself to give up on Philadelphia. The offensive personnel remains elite even without Jason Kelce, and the defense automatically took a step forward the moment Matt Patricia walked out the door.

The Cowboys won 12 games last year, but it felt a little bit fake the whole time. Plus, the refs handed them that victory against the Lions in Week 17. With essentially the exact same guys - minus Dan Quinn - Dallas will return back to Earth.

I think Jayden Daniels is brilliant, and he’s about to put together a fantastic career. But the Commanders’ defense is alarmingly bad. They’ll squeeze out seven wins, finishing only above the lowly Giants. New York claims the first pick in the draft.

NFC West

1. 49ers (13-4)

2. Cardinals (9-8)

3. Rams (8-9)

4. Seahawks (6-11)

NFL discourse would be so much more fun if we all just agreed to stop debating whether Brock Purdy is good or not. He’s very clearly good, no matter how much nonsense Micah Parsons wants to spew on Twitter.

But every Niners QB looks good in Kyle Shanahan’s system! May I ask you a question? What on Earth are you talking about? Jimmy Garoppolo never once passed the eye test, and Trey Lance was even worse. Purdy is actually the only San Francisco quarterback to look legit in the Shanahan era. Brandon Aiyuk is back, and so is Trent Williams. This team is going to roll again.

As I told you a while ago, Kyler Murray will remind everyone how good he is when things are right. Meanwhile, people keep trying to convince me that the Rams are a Super Bowl contender. I just don’t see it; the best defensive player ever is gone, and Matthew Stafford is now 36.

Mike Macdonald is not going to work as a head coach. The return to relevance for Geno Smith was pretty cool, but it’ll end here. Seattle is going to draft a QB in the first round in April.

Playoff Seeding:

1. 49ers

2. Eagles

3. Packers

4. Falcons

5. Lions

6. Cowboys

7. Cardinals

Wild Card Round

#2 Eagles OVER #7 Cardinals

#3 Packers OVER #6 Cowboys

#5 Lions OVER #4 Falcons

Divisional Round

#1 49ers OVER #5 Lions

#2 Eagles OVER #3 Packers

NFC Championship Game

#1 49ers OVER #2 Eagles

Ho-hum. It’s another trip to the Super Bowl for San Francisco. The great news for Niners fans? Big, bad Patrick Mahomes isn’t waiting on the other side this time.

Pressroom

Spin It

“Wild Ones” by Flo Rida (feat. Sia). Talk about a magical collab.