Rhinestones

The three biggest losers of the 2025 NFL Draft.

Welcome to Glass Slipper! I’m sure there won’t be any altercations inside Little Caesars Arena tonight; please enjoy the show.

- Jacob Rhee

**NOTICE: Glass Slipper will arrive on Sunday and Friday next week.

Loser: Los Angeles Chargers

  • Round 1 (Pick No. 22): Omarion Hampton, North Carolina RB

  • Round 2 (Pick No. 55): Tre Harris, Ole Miss WR

  • Round 3 (Pick No. 86): Jamaree Caldwell, Oregon DT

  • Round 4 (Pick No. 125): Kyle Kennard, South Carolina EDGE

  • Round 5 (Pick No. 158): KeAndre Lambert-Smith, Auburn WR

  • Round 5 (Pick No. 165): Oronde Gadsden II, Syracuse TE

  • Round 6 (Pick No. 199): Branson Taylor, Pitt OT

  • Round 6 (Pick No. 214): RJ Mickens, Clemson S

  • Round 7 (Pick No. 256): Trikweze Bridges, Florida CB

Matthew Golden - who will make multiple Pro Bowls in Green Bay - fell right into your lap, and you brushed him aside to fill a nonexistent need. Hampton is a fantastic back, and he’s a natural fit in Todd Monken’s scheme; I do not love the idea of a first-round guy being bogged down in a three-way timeshare with JK Dobbins and Najee Harris, though.

The front office tried to circle back and fill the hole at wide receiver later on, and I’m not a huge believer in either dude that was ultimately chosen. Because of Lane Kiffin’s cute little Veer and Shoot attack, we literally just haven’t seen Tre Harris run that many different routes at the Power Four level. Jalin Hyatt stole a Biletnikoff Award by eating in that simplified system under Josh Heupel; go ask Giants folks if they’re happy with how he’s looked in the league. Meanwhile, Lambert-Smith tends to vanish when the lights are on. In 18 contests against ranked squads, he reached 75 receiving yards five times. That’s certainly not ideal.

Kennard and Mickens are the only picks that I like. The Chargers did not get a whole lot better here.

Loser: Miami Dolphins

  • Round 1 (Pick No. 13): Kenneth Grant, Michigan DT

  • Round 2 (Pick No. 37): Jonah Savaiinaea, Arizona OG

  • Round 5 (Pick No. 143): Jordan Phillips, Maryland DT

  • Round 5 (Pick No. 150): Jason Marshall Jr., Florida CB

  • Round 5 (Pick No. 155): Dante Trader Jr., Maryland S

  • Round 6 (Pick No. 179): Ollie Gordon II, Oklahoma State RB

  • Round 7 (Pick No. 231): Quinn Ewers, Texas QB

  • Round 7 (Pick No. 253): Zeek Biggers, Georgia Tech DT

If ESPN had cut to a live shot of Tua Tagovailoa after the Kenneth Grant pick, we would’ve seen the 27-year-old signal-caller sliding down the wall with tears in his eyes. The Dolphins employ the NFL’s worst offensive line, and yet they neglect it every April. It’s just inexplicable. Miami has made five top-36 selections since 2021, and none were allocated towards protecting the quarterback that has endured some of the most terrifying injuries in the sport.

A perfect course of action was sitting right there; trade down 10 spots, scoop up Donovan Jackson, and collect a free second-rounder in the deal. Instead, the front office reaches for a defensive tackle - whose game is supposedly built around his power - that posted fewer bench press reps at the combine than Iowa State slot receiver Jaylin Noel. The Dolphins then proceed to use two of their seven remaining picks on backups for Grant. I truly cannot understand the thought process.

Saviinaea is going to be fine, and I actually kind of like Marshall. The Quinn Ewers dart throw definitely made me giggle, as well. Regardless, this was not a pretty showing from Miami’s decision-makers. The fan base should be irritated.

Loser: New Orleans Saints

  • Round 1 (Pick No. 9): Kelvin Banks, Texas OT

  • Round 2 (Pick No. 40): Tyler Shough, Louisville QB

  • Round 3 (Pick No. 71): Vernon Broughton, Texas DT

  • Round 3 (Pick No. 93): Jonas Sanker, Virginia S

  • Round 4 (Pick No. 112): Danny Stutsman, Oklahoma LB

  • Round 4 (Pick No. 131): Quincy Riley, Louisville CB

  • Round 6 (Pick No. 184): Devin Neal, Kansas RB

  • Round 7 (Pick No. 248): Moliki Matavao, UCLA TE

  • Round 7 (Pick No. 254): Fadil Diggs, Syracuse EDGE

When an organization spends a top-40 selection on my tenth-ranked quarterback in the class - while also passing on the top guy at the position six separate times - it earns an automatic invitation to my list of losers. This thing is a mess.

I do not like Tyler Shough as a prospect whatsoever. The fact that he crawled up into the second round solidifies my long-standing theory that NFL general managers would draft a meerkat if it was 6-foot-5 with a strong arm. Shough left Oregon, and the Ducks got better. The same thing happened when he bolted from Texas Tech. He played seven ranked opponents in his collegiate career. Do you want to know how those games went? Earmuffs, Tyler. He completed 57.7 percent of his attempts, and logged 13 passing touchdowns and nine turnovers. Two wins, five losses. Did I mention that Shough turns 26(!!) in the fall? I don’t believe he’s even remotely close to being a franchise QB.

Banks and Neal are the lone picks in the group that receive my resounding approval. It’s a bad draft haul that will tack another season onto this long run of New Orleans mediocrity.

Pressroom

We’re not going out 4-0.

Heat guard Tyler Herro, two days before losing to the Cavs by 55 points in Game 4.

Spin It

“Mr. Blue Sky” by Electric Light Orchestra. Let’s push through the end of this week.

Reply

or to participate.